Free The Darling Buds of June by Frankie Lassut Page B

to
the world, fame. Gillian Stashaway née Benedict, Shakespeare’s
contemporary, was/is ‘our’ under rated Bard, or certainly the
inspiration (Muse) and provider of the raw material for William;
and we the FAT B’s, fine Alcestrians, think that it is time that
she was recognised, and then WE too can have a theatre! ‘The Royal
Stashaway Albino Mallard Theatre’ perhaps? Unfortunately for us,
most of Gillian’s great works were somehow acquired by and revamped
by Shakespeare who added some boredom it must be said, and as a
result, Gillian was condemned to live a life of frustration and
hovered near poverty in his literary shadow. Personally, I (ME!)
think that she had a thing going with Will (her lover?) and
encouraged him when she knew he could redo her works for the taste
of a snobby public, who didn’t take to her brilliant, lighter, more
amusing style. Actually, she provided much inspiration for William
i.e. she woke him up from his depression as he wasn’t producing
anything good as his muse was on leave; couldn’t get through to him
because William drank heavily. What is it with these poets and
writers? They drink because they’re miserable as their muse can’t
get information into their poor beleaguered mind, because they
drink. They then call it writers block, which is misery producing
so they have a drink. What a vicious circle. In other words though,
she ‘woke’ him. We can then say with some degree of accuracy,
Gillian Wakes Shakespeare, or ... Wakesspeare. We can drop one of
the S’s .. Wakes-peare? So, she will therefore be called Gillian
Stashaway née Benedict ‘nay’ Wakespeare. There will be times when
I, the author, will get fed up of writing all that envelope busting
name out and simply call her Gillian W, Gillian nay W, or Gillian
Stashaway née Benedict ... oh whatever, you’ll know who I mean.
Similarly with ‘I’ when the mole is speaking, as it may also be me,
or me by myself, so please treat the mole and I as the same person.
Yes, well anyway, God gave Gillian a great talent, but, it was for
a slightly different audience than the one William catered for, so
all he did was give her work a bit of a tweak. Good Lord, Stratford
owes Alcester everything!” You got all that? I need a drink.
Museless times when writing.
    I (author) have
had similar experiences, both sides of the coin. I have been unable
to write anything, but have been only too happy to rewrite someone
else’s work, or vice versa. It’s happening right now. I started a
house newspaper, which makes fun of other guests. One of them
decided to take over and made up a new name for the paper, and
tried to write articles, but couldn’t. So, being un-jealous and
un-angry about this hostile takeover, I wrote an example, he took
it and said “No, noooo ...’you want it like this’. He re-wrote it,
gave it to everyone, and took credit. Ho, ho, dead amusing.
    Gillian
Wakespeare 1554-1614 ... that’s better, not so much of a change now
when Stratford is shoved into second place soon, the public will
soon get used to it. It’s great being a creative genius. Ok, it’s a
few years since I wrote this the first time and I used Wakespeare
back then and I know now (5 minutes back on a web search it’s 3
Jan uary 2015 now) that it has been used
before, but I had never heard it, except when it popped into my
head in the car. So, my version is the best and that’s that.
    Ever seen that
‘Dead Famous’ programme? The guy was finding relics i.e. bits of
famous people who were dead (to state the obvious). He was then DNA
testing the bits to find out why they actually died, or things
about them. He actually found Napoleon’s willy, which didn’t need a
big box at all (there are no pictures of Josephine smiling, never
mind laughing). Maybe then Stan was like Napoleon in that
department, but Willy Shakespeare lived up to his name? I bet his
nickname was big willy. I wonder if Anne knew of the affair? Hmmmm?
That would have led to a