Free Dodge the Bullet by Christy Hayes Page B

can’t be the only one who makes an
effort, Kev. You’re going to have to meet her in the middle.”
    “Why are you defending her all the sudden? I
thought you understood how I felt about moving out here.”
    “She’s my sister and she’s been through
enough without you throwing your anger in her face every time she
turns around. You need to cut her a break. She’s doing the best she
knows how.”
    “ She’s been through enough? What
about me? What about us?” He swung his arm around to include Lyle
into the argument. “She’s the one who insisted we move here without
even asking us if we wanted to, not that she’d care. Then she gets
mad when we aren’t overjoyed to be here. Well, tough. I’m not happy
about being here and I’m not going to pretend to be just to make
her feel better. This was her big idea and she’s going to have to
live with the consequences.”
    “Are you through?” his mom asked from the
top of the stairs. Her cheeks were red from the cold.
    Kevin looked up, still breathing hard from
his outburst with Jenny.
    “You’re right,” she said. “I don’t care if
you don’t want to be here. It hurts me to see you upset because we
had to move, but it was my decision to make and I wouldn’t change
my mind even now. You’re going to have to get used to the idea that
this is our home and that’s all there is to it. I’m the only parent
you’ve got and I won’t tolerate you talking to me or about me like
you just did. And I won’t have you speak to Jenny that way,
either.”
    “We didn’t have to move, mom. The
only reason we did was because you couldn’t stand to see us moving
on without you.”
    “What is that supposed to mean?”
    “I mean Lyle and I still had friends and
school and a life. Since dad died, everybody’s been keeping their
distance from you because you’re a big downer all the time. So just
because your friends couldn’t stand to hear you whine anymore you
up and move us to the middle of nowhere so we can all be miserable.
Well, I hope you’re happy because it worked--we’re miserable!”
    “It’s going to take some getting used to,”
his mom said. All the color had drained from her face and she
looked really mad. “All I ask is for you to give it a chance and
try to keep an open mind. Because we aren’t moving back.”
    ###
    Sarah sat on the deck, sipped her wine and
let the peacefulness of the night air fill her lungs and the empty
places in her heart. Dinner had been a disaster, with Kevin sulking
and Lyle and Jenny trying to lighten the mood. Sarah could feel
herself slipping into the void of space where she’d spent much of
the last two years, half present, going through the motions of
every day life, but not really involved.
    That’s what Kevin had meant, her being a
downer. He was right. She suspected he and Lyle, Jenny and everyone
else knew she was only partly in the moment most of the time.
That’s why people kept their distance. Being in Colorado this past
week had her feeling alive again. But she could feel herself
backpedaling and she didn’t know how to stop the momentum.
    So many people had advised them to seek
counseling after Todd’s death. She’d resisted, thought it would be
too weird, too weak, too slippery a slope to go down and ever get
back up. Maybe her insistence on handling things herself, within
the family, had been a mistake. Now that they were in a small town
where the kind of therapy they needed probably wasn’t even
available, she began to wonder if it might help. Typical.
    “What are you sitting over there moping
about?” Jenny asked.
    Sarah sighed. Just the sound of it made her
feel pathetic. “I’m just wondering if I should have put us all in
therapy like everybody suggested.”
    “Oh, pooh. That’s all you’d need is for
Kevin and Lyle to use their dad’s dying as an excuse for everything
that goes wrong in their lives. You don’t need therapy now any more
than you did back then. You’re just a little