Free PRINCESS BEAST by Pamela Ditchoff Page A

all things!" Elora squeals breathlessly. "And I cut the string and fell into a deep heavy sleep. Bricklebrit,” Elora says and kicks the humping Croesus off her thigh.
     
    * * *
     
    The stork that had found me as a baby in the bog brought my mother and me two swan skins. We flew to Egypt where there was great joy in our return,” Helga says.  “You see, I was the flower of the north needed to heal my grandfather, the flower of my mother's heart. Egypt is beautiful with tamarisk and acacias in bloom, temples and pyramids reaching into the blue sky, the vast white deserts and the Nile, mother of all rivers."
    "Wow," Rune murmurs reverently.  "The swan told me there were castles and beaches and flowers . . . "
    "I should have been happy, but night after night, I stood on my balcony looking at the stars, thinking of Illa and how she had cared for me, and of Worick and his pride in my fierce nature, and of Michael, mostly of Michael and that I might join him.  But where?  In Valhalla as the Vikings taught me?  In the afterlife as the Egyptians taught me?  In paradise, as Michael said? I was so confused," Helga wails.
    "I know, I know, there, there, it's all right." Rune reaches out and touches Helga hands.  Although blue sparks fly, Rune holds on. “I don’t blame you for being confused. Religion is confusing, and I have read about every religion there is; my mother has a huge library in our cave. In my opinion and mother’s, most religions are demanding and cruel. The Old Testament is full of murder in the name of their god. The things you did as a Viking girl aren’t so bad compared to Bible stories. Hey, I think tonight is Samhain, yes, it is. How do you celebrate it here?"
     
    * * *
     
    “You tell her, Sweet Pea,” Elora pauses over a huge copper cauldron on the Le Cornue stove in Palace Kitchen where she’s concocting a vat of Samhain Smash for tonight’s celebration. “Forget any festivities in Andersen Land, they don’t celebrate Samhain, All Hallows Eve, Halloween, whatever turns your crank, it won’t turn the Danish.”
    She points the copper ladle at Croesus. “This is what the Lord said, Now go and smite Amalek and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them but kill both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. Or how about, the people of Samaria must bear their guilt because they have rebelled against their god; they will fall by the sword, their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant woman ripped open.”
    Elora snaps up a pupperoni and tosses it to Croesus. “You can bet your long pointed ears that Yahweh won’t set foot in the Maimed Animal Zone, or all of Grimm Land for that matter. The Lord said to Moses, tell Aaron, for the generations to come, none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. No man who has any defect may come near; no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no man with a crippled foot or hand, or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed or who has an eye defect or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. But God loves Andersen Land,” Elora shouts and throws back her head with laugher. Croesus catches the drops of Samhain Smash before they hit the floor.
     
    * * *
     
    “Samhain is a pagan holiday,” Helga frowns. “There are no pagans in Andersen Land.”
    “There’s one now,” Rune mutters. “What religion did you choose?”
    "A choice was made for me. At harvest, my grandfather arranged for me to be married, and soon a caravan arrived bearing my bridegroom, a prince of Arabia.  I was dressed in this fine linen gown and jeweled collar and wed to Prince Alli in the temple of Isis."
    "Was he handsome?"  Rune giggles, hoping to brighten Helga's glazed expression.  And Helga does smile, a twisted grimace, as if she's touched a bad tooth with her tongue.
    "Yes, but not as handsome as Michael.  Still, I accepted that this was the beginning of a new life. I