Free Dumb Clucks by R.L. Stine Page A

I’ve got three dozen shirts with these slimy Tadpoles on them!”

    Feenman shrugged. “Babyish.”
    â€œOkay, tell me,” I said through gritted teeth. “What show are you traitors watching now?”
    â€œWe’ll give you a hint,” Crench said.
    And they all chimed in at once, singing…
    Â 
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK.

Chapter 2
A B IRDBRAIN T HAT T HINKS
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK
    BLUCK BLUCK BLUCK.
    I waited for them to stop BLUCKing. It took a long time.
    Nosebleed blucked so hard, he got another nosebleed.
    Finally they fell back on their chairs, gasping for breath.
    â€œThe name of the new show is Bluck ?” I asked.
    Everyone groaned.
    â€œNo way,” Feenman said. “Bernie, everyone is watching Stupid Chicken .”
    â€œHe’s totally awesome,” Crench said. “He has Drumsticks of Doom!”
    â€œAnd Buffalo Wings of Steel,” Belzer added.
    I turned to Chipmunk. He’s the shyest kid in school. He had a blindfold pulled down over his eyes. Chipmunk only listens to TV. He’s too shy to watch it.
    â€œChipmunk, you’re loyal to the Tadpoles—aren’t you?” I asked.
    Chipmunk cleared his throat for about ten minutes. It’s one of his most disturbing habits. “The Tadpoles are kinda violent,” he whispered. He started to tremble.
    â€œBernie, don’t you watch Stupid Chicken ?” Belzer asked. “It’s the most popular cartoon on Chickelodeon.”
    â€œIt comes on every night after Teriyaki Chicken ,” Feenman said. “You know. The Karate Klucker?”
    â€œHuh?” I stared at the TV screen. There was Stupid Chicken. A fat, yellow chicken in a blue and red cape. He flew across the sky, blucking his head off.
    â€œI don’t believe you dudes are sitting here watchinga flying chicken,” I said. “How could you abandon the Tadpoles?”
    The chicken flew into some kind of house made of ice. “Who lives there?” I asked. “Frozen Chicken?”
    The guys usually love my jokes. But nobody even smiled.
    â€œThat’s the Henhouse of Solitude,” Crench said. “That’s where Stupid Chicken goes to think things over.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Oh, perfect. A birdbrain that thinks !”
    I stared at the screen. “What’s that dumb-looking featherball rolling behind Stupid Chicken?” I asked. “Something he coughed up after breakfast?”
    Beast jumped to his feet and shook a fist at me.
    His fist was bigger than my head! “Are you making fun of America’s National Chicken?” he boomed.
    â€œOf course not,” I said. I took several steps back. Beast canbe dangerous. Especially if he hasn’t had his rabies shots.

    â€œThat featherball is Little Cluck-Cluck,” Feenman said. “He’s always getting into trouble. He’s so funny.”
    I stared at my worthless pile of T-shirts. “Ha-ha,” I said bitterly.
    What was I gonna do with these shirts?
    Maybe I could take a marker and draw feathers on the Tadpoles. I’d tell the guys it’s what Stupid Chicken looked like when he was a baby.
    No. No way they’d believe it.
    â€œCrench, tell me,” I said. “How can a chicken be a superhero?”
    â€œAre you kidding?” Crench said. “First he pecks your knees to bring you down. Then he kicks gravel on you.”
    â€œExciting,” I muttered.
    I slapped the pile of T-shirts. I had to sell them to somebody !
    Suddenly I had an idea.
    The first graders LOVE the Tadpoles. And they’re gonna LOVE these shirts!
    I pushed my cart out of the dorm and raised my binoculars to my eyes. “First graders! Where are you? Where are you?”

Chapter 3
C LUCK -B LUCK -L UCK ?
    I spotted a whole bunch of the little dudes on R.U. Dumm Field. That’s our soccer field.
    It must have