Free The Lullaby of Polish Girls by Dagmara Dominczyk Page A

tearjerker.”
    Elwira smiles. “I think it’s nice she called. Is she working on a new movie?”
    “I don’t fucking know! We didn’t go over her résumé!” Justyna snaps as Elwira’s face crumples. “She offered to send us money.”
    “Na serio?”
Elwira wipes her nose on her sleeve, suddenly bright eyed.
    “Yeah, she did. She’s Hollywood now, right? It’s the least she could have done.”
    But Elwira does not catch the sarcasm in her sister’s voice. “How much is she sending?”
    “Elwira? Are you fucking crazy? Like I would take one
złoty
. We’re not a charity case.”
    Elwira shrugs her shoulders. “We’re not?”
    “Anyway, you know what surprised me? That Kamila Marchewska wasn’t there. Didn’t even send a
wieniec
.” It was customary to send a wreath if one couldn’t attend a funeral and Justyna had quickly surveyed the ones that had been on display next to the coffin that morning, scanning the cards for
Marchewska
or
Baran
.
    “She’s in the States. At least that’s what I heard,” Elwira answers.
    “I guess it’s the place to be.” Justyna sighs, wondering why she ever gave a shit.
    “Justyna. I’ve been thinking—” Elwira interrupts Justyna’s thoughts.
    “And? How does it feel? Like your head hurts a little, but you can get used to it?” Justyna smiles.
Let’s go back to four days ago
, she thinks.
Let’s be normal again
.
    “I think I should move out.”
    Justyna glances up, trying to read her sister. “Where would you go?”
    “Back to Szydłówek. To
Babcia
’s.”
    “You and Cela and
Babcia
Kazia, all in a one-bedroom?”
    Elwira lights a cigarette and walks over to the balcony doors. “Well, obviously I can’t stay here.”
    “No one’s kicking you out.”
    “Justyna! What if he comes back here, looking for me? He put his bloody hand around my neck and told me if I talked he’d be back. And I talked, I fucking talked! What if he does something to Cela?”
    “He doesn’t know where
Babcia
lives?”
    “But she lives on the third floor.”
    “He killed someone with a kitchen knife. I’m sure he can figure out how to climb a balcony or two.” Justyna clicks the TV off and starts for the door.
    “He did. He
did
, right?”
    Justyna turns back and stares at her sister.
    “What you said now, Justyna. The way you said it. Kitchen knife. This is real, right? There’s no going back?”
    Elwira looks so small next to Justyna, like a little dove. Once again, Justyna silently curses her mother. If Teresa suddenly appeared like Lazarus in their living room, Justyna wouldn’t think twice about slapping her upside the head. She was young and pretty and fun and she loved them more than anything in the world. And then she died and left them, just like that.
    “I don’t know what will happen if I stay here. I don’t want Damian to suddenly hate me.”
    “Damian lost a father. He’s allowed to hate anyone he wants.”
    “See, this is what I mean. We can’t do this. How can we live together?”
    For a second, Justyna wants to get down on her hands and knees and beg her sister to stay. To confess that she can’t face these four walls alone haunted by the past. In one room the ghost of her mother lies on the bed, where she took her last breath seven years ago, and now there’s the bathroom where her husband’s throat was slashed as he finished taking a piss.
    “Do what you wanna do, Elwira,” Justyna says quietly. “Just don’t leave me alone tonight. Please.”

   
Anna
Kielce, Poland
    The lifeguards are everywhere, slithering around in skimpy orange Speedos. When wet, the cheap lycra works like a suction cup, leaving nothing to the imagination. They swagger around the pool, barrel-chested and cocksure, keeping a lazy eye on the crowd. Anna, Kamila, and Justyna are having a hard time not staring.
    Around the Tęcza
Basen
, beefy grandmothers sit on blankets, in their bras and underwear, chain-smoking cigarettes while their annoying grandkids in