Free Panic by J. A. Huss Page A

up to something, so I follow. “What’s that look for? You’re being sneaky?”
    We pass by her Shrike Rook bike as we walk to the truck and I catch her eyeing it with longing. “You gonna ride that thing, you think?”
    “Absolutely. I can’t wait.”
    “Hmmm, I’m not sure about that, Rook. It makes me nervous. Don’t ride it alone, OK? Make sure you’ve got Spence or one of the shop guys with you.”
    I lean back against the truck as she pushes herself into me and purrs in my ear, “You worry too much, Larue. I’m a big girl. I’m only gonna ride it for a few weeks before it starts snowing. Besides, I have the Shrike truck to hold me over until I figure out what kind of car I want.”
    “And that’s another thing—”
    “Don’t start with me! I’m buying my own car, I already told you that.”
    I lean down and kiss her gently. “What were you gonna give me, Gidget?” Her hands slip under my t-shirt and chills ride up my body. “Fuck, I’m gonna miss you.”
    “Well,” she coos in my ear. “I’m gonna miss you too. But the gift I’m giving you before you leave is my heart.”
    And then she turns her bright blue eyes up at me and I feel it.
    I’m not a romantic, I’m really not. I believe in love and all that shit, and I like to make girls happy with presents and careful attention as far as sex goes. But this is something else entirely. She makes my heart ache. Literally. My chest feels like it’s gonna be ripped apart from the longing, that’s how much I love this girl. “I’m totally taking that gift, Rook. And I’m never giving it back, so please don’t ask for it.”
    “I’m not sure where we’re headed, Ronin. I have to be honest about that. I know you’re ready to settle down, but I’m not there yet. So I hope you’re patient with me. I just started school and parts of it aren’t fun, so maybe I don’t have what it takes to get a college degree. But I need to figure that out. I might need to go and do all that stuff before I’m ready to settle. Will you be OK with that?”
    “Gidget, I’m ready to stand back or step in. You just tell me which one you need and I’m there.”
    “Just love me, because I love you. I really do. And tonight, when the reality of today sets in and I have to crawl into that cold bed alone, I’m gonna cry my eyes out.”
    Awwww. I lean down and feather little kisses across her lips. “You better call me if you do. In fact, you can call me any time you want and I’ll be there, OK? You need me to drive up, just say so. You need to come down for a day, just show up. I don’t care what time it is, what day it is, or what else I’m doing. You’re my life, Rook. You’re my future, but I’m not in a rush, babe. I’m not. I can wait, so just do your thing, OK?”
    She kisses me and the whole world disappears. Just blips out of existence for me. When she kisses me there is nothing but her tender lips and my pounding heart. There is nothing but the buzzing of her essence coursing in my blood and penetrating my soul. There is nothing but us.
    “We’re an us,” I say impulsively and she giggles into my mouth.
    “We’re definitely an us.”
    I gather her face gently into my cupped hands and tip her head up. “If you need me, Rook. I’m here, OK, babe? I’m here. You can come to me with anything.”
    We hug one last time and then I reluctantly get into the truck and drive away, my eyes flickering between the road in front of me and the beautiful girl waving goodbye in Spencer Shrike’s driveway.
    I hope Ford is wrong, I swear. Because I might die, that’s how bad this makes my heart ache. I might die if she checks out on me and walks away.
     

Chapter Twelve - ROOK
     
    I watch Ronin drive off and suddenly my stomach is twisting into billions of knots. This is probably a mistake. I have so little confidence in what I’m doing with my life, and now that he’s gone and I’m here all alone, every decision feels like the wrong one.
    “You