Free EllRay Jakes Rocks the Holidays! by Sally Warner Page A

him—and Stanley, and Kevin. “But the class
practiced
,” I remind them. “And the girls are really excited about dancing. And Ms. Sanchez got all dressed up. And our parents are gonna be there.”
    “Not
my
parents,” Jared says.
    Oh, right.
    They almost never come to anything.
    Jared and Stanley are messing with Kevin
and
me. Not only me. But how do I get Kevin to see that?
    And they’re doing it because they think they can. No other reason.
    I need to stop the clock, I think, my heart thunking as we plod down the hall.
    I need time to figure out all the reasons why this is so wrong, in so many ways.
    And I need time to explain everything to Kevin, including how sorry I am about what happened, and how cool it was being friends with him.
    But also about why I’m not gonna yell out the swear, even if it means having no friends at all except Corey.
    I mean, I’m not
perfect.
It’s not like I wouldn’t do something goofy and random! But it would have to be my own idea. And not hurt anyone else. And it wouldn’t be
this
.
    Only I can’t stop time, because I am not a
Die, Creature, Die
superhero.
    And we’re almost at the auditorium.
    The show is about to start.
    “They made me do this,” Kevin whispers again, speaking so only I can hear. “But just say the swear, so they’ll still like me. And then you and I can be friends again.”
    I try to look him in the eye. “But listen, I can’t—”
    “But nothin’,” Stanley says, giving me a shove.
    And I think, for one crazy second, of telling
Stanley
about my dad’s “Mr. G,” and how Stanley should have stuck a G at the end of “nothing,” since we supposedly paid for all twenty-six letters of the alphabet.
    But I don’t.
    I may be doomed, but I’m not
nuts
!
    And anyway, Mr. G is Dad’s thing.
    Not mine.

17
AN OAK GLEN WINTER WONDERLAND
    It is almost time for me to introduce the third grade class. I feel sick to my stomach, knowing the terrible thing that I am supposed to do, only I won’t.
    I am sitting on a folding chair backstage next to Miss Myrna, the lady who organizes things that happen in the auditorium. She suspects nothing.
    The kindergartners were cute singing “Jingle Bells.” The first-graders did okay singing “Frosty the Snowman,” except before they started, one little guy was so scared that he refused to go onstage. So I let him sit and cry on my folding chair until his class’s song was done. And then he ran onstage to take a huge old bow.
    It was like he’d been the star of the show!
    Now the striped-muffler-wearing second-graders are finishing their song, “You’re a Mean One, Mr.Grinch.” The whole audience is laughing, because Mr. Havens—the second grade teacher—is onstage wearing a Mr. Grinch costume. And the littlest girl in their class is dressed up as Cindy Lou Who. They even got her hair right.
    The lyrics to that song are really hard, so the second-graders get to hold them while they sing. But during the entire song, Mr. Havens has been creeping around, pretending to scare kids or steal their mufflers or grab their music, while tiny Cindy Lou Who skitters after him.
    “Aww,” Miss Myrna coos, clasping her hands as she watches Cindy Lou Who skip across the stage.
    This will be a hard act for us third-graders to follow! And
An Oak Glen Winter Wonderland
is already running twelve minutes late. Getting all the kids out of their auditorium seats, up onto the stage, and then back into their seats is what has chewed up the time.
    In the front row, Principal James keeps looking at his watch.
    You think you have problems
now
, Principal James? What if I was about to break every law in the school system—and maybe the universe—byshouting out a swear at the very end of the show?
    It would be like a meteor crashing through the atmosphere to Earth right here in Oak Glen, California! And becoming a meteorite. Remember?
    Only I will never get credit for
not doing
something. Which is not fair.
    Maybe I
should
do it? My