Free Journey to the Centre of Myself by Andie M. Long Page B

bookstore and write the date of my trip on the inner page, making a mental note to do the same with my Berlin one. The new book contains multiple photos and I lose myself in the sights and ideas within, making the odd little note in my journal of places and shops to investigate on the days with no excursions.
    Next it’s a wander around Duty-Free where I treat myself to some luxurious new cosmetics after the girl at the counter gives me a makeover so I can sample the products before I purchase them. The smoky mauve colours pick up my brown eyes and the chestnut of my hair. I walk with a swing to my step as I return to my seat to await boarding.
    No. It can’t be? I recognise a familiar face, three rows over. Christ, can I not catch a break here?
    My breath is held as I wait for him to rush over, but he opens his newspaper and starts to read. I’m wrong-footed, sure the bastard would hurry over. Please don’t let him board the flight. I try to read my book, but I can’t concentrate. I keep having little peeks from under my fringe to check if he’s looking at me. He doesn’t. Has he not recognised me? I’m looking a lot different today.
    The expression ‘ants in your pants’ is apt. I can’t seem to sit still. In the end, I can’t leave it any longer and I go up to him.
    ‘What are you doing here? I asked you to leave me alone.’
    He looks at me as if I’ve asked him what two and two add up to. ‘I’m catching a plane to Paris.’
    ‘Is this some kind of joke?’
    ‘Karenza, if you’re going there too that’s a complete coincidence. You aren’t the only person who can travel around.’
    ‘Oh, don’t Karenza me.’
    ‘But you were always my Karenza.’
    ‘ Years ago.’
    ‘Yes, but here I watch you, sitting alone, and I think, hmm, maybe there’s still a chance for romance. Don’t you wish to spend time with Arjan?’
    I narrow my eyes at him. ‘The last thing I need right now are your games. I’m here—alone. Make sure you leave me that way.’
    ‘Oh-kay.’ He sighs in disappointment.
    ‘I mean it. Anyway, how come you’re here? How did you know I’d be here?’
    ‘Maybe I’ve been following you?’
    ‘I don’t have time for this. I really don’t.’ My eyes fill with tears, I feel like everything is spoilt.
    He touches my shoulder. ‘Hey I’m sorry, I thought it was a good idea, but I’ll leave you alone, okay?’
    I shrug him off and stand in front of the window overlooking the planes.
    They call for boarding and I let everyone else get on the plane—including him. I’m unsure now whether I’m going to get on. Damn him. I want to go to Paris. Arjan can do whatever he likes. I’m looking at my future, not my past. I walk past the Air Hostess, show my boarding ticket and step onto the plane. Searching around, I can’t see him so at least he’s not sitting near me. Just over an hour of flight time and I’ll be able to continue challenging myself to rediscover the real me.
    I feel butterflies in my stomach and hope they’re because of the Paris trip.
     
     
     

 
    Chapter 11
     
    Amber
     
    There’s a visceral pain, an agony. It begins in my throat. ‘What? What?’ My eyes close. It’s impossible to open them, to accept the current circumstances, the horror. My brain won’t function to work things out. I shake my head. This isn’t happening. ‘No. No.’
    I slide to the floor. My elbow thuds against the laminate. Blood seeps from the wound, but there’s no pain. It’s all concentrated inside, like my intestines are being pulled out of my throat.
    I point my finger at Sam.
    Will jumps up to stand in front of her. His back to me. ‘You’d better go.’
    I hear her say, ‘I’ll meet you at the hotel.’
    ‘Yes,’ he nods. ‘I’ll be there as soon as…’
    He points in my direction as if I’m excrement on the floor to be cleaned up.
    My world goes black.
     
    I’m aware that I’m half dragged, half carried to the sofa. A hot cup of coffee is put at the side