Free The Devil and Danielle Webster by Cynthia Cross Page B

this would have happened.”
    Oh my god.  If that wasn’t the way Evie reasoned.  Was it possible Doug had married an Evil Eye Evie of his own?  Now that would be poetic
justice. 
    Doug was saying, “What do you want me to do, honey?” 
He looked at her with blatant worship in his eyes.  Disgusting.
    “Hold this diaper bag,” she told him.  “Let me get my
prayer book out of my purse.”  She brought forth a well-thumbed maroon
book, and opened it to a page. 
    “Wait, wait, wait,” Daemon Lucifer commanded, not looking
quite as nondescript as usual.  At his voice, Doug, Tina and I all looked
at him.  “If you want me to stick around for this, we all need to sign a
little hold harmless form.  Just limiting my liability, you know, in case
you burn the hotel down or some other disaster strikes.”  He held a thick
embossed piece of paper in his hand.  It looked much like the contract
Doug and I had signed.  
    Tina looked at him appraisingly.
    “It’s been known to happen,” he said.  “An exorcism is
a powerful thing.  It’s been known to knock out power grids.”
    “My mother did that at a motel once just by plugging in an
electric frying pan,” I observed. 
    “Oh, she had more in mind than cooking dinner,” said the
Devil.
    “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, then put a hand up to stop Tina’s approach to the Devil.  “Don’t sign
anything,” I cautioned. 
    Tina looked at me with scorn.  “I am covered with the
blood of the lamb,” she said.  “Whatever I bind here on earth will be
bound in heaven.  Whatever I loose here on earth
will be loosed in heaven.  Give me that pen.  I’ll sign for all of
us.”
    “You’ve gotta be— “ Before I had time to finish the thought, she signed the
form.  She handed it decisively to the Devil.  “Now, sir, cease with
the delays.”
    “Forthwith,” I added, then looked
innocent as her eyes swept my face angrily.  “I don’t see any blood,” I
added helpfully. 
    “Shut up, Danielle,” said Doug.
    “Just for the record, I don’t think it was a good idea for
her to sign anything.  Mark my words, Doug.”
    “Tina does what she wants to do,” he told me.
    “So I notice.  She may have gotten more involved with
this than she bargained for.”
    The Devil laughed noiselessly and winked at me.  Oh,
boy, Team Daemon against Team Charismatic.  I didn’t intend to be on
anyone’s team; he could wink all he wanted.  I would sit this one out.
    “Let’s get started,” Tina said in a take-charge way. 
She held Doug’s hand and began singing:
    Rank on rank the host of heaven
    Spreads its vanguard on the way
    As the light of light descendeth
    From the realms of endless day
    That the powers of hell may vanish
    As the shadows clear away.
       
I was impressed despite myself.  She had quite a voice.  “That was
really beautiful,” I said sincerely. 
    The Devil was nodding.  “Third verse of Let All
Mortal Flesh Keep Silence , set to the tune Picardy .  It’s always been a favorite of
mine.”  I looked at him strangely, and he winked again.
    “Doug, did you put the Holy Water in the silver bowl?” asked
Tina, holding out a hand.
    “ It’s right here, honey,” he said,
handing it to her.  
    Tina began the ceremony by holding up a plain wooden
cross.  “The enemies of God are scattered and those who hate Him flee
before him!  As wax melteth before the fire, so
the wicked perish at the presence of God!”
    “Praise be to thee, oh Lord,”
intoned Doug.  That’s right, I remembered his mom telling me with pride
that he used to be an altar boy.  Not only that, he’d sung in the
choir.  By the time I’d known him, he sang along to WRRL—“Rock and Roll
from the Loop!—” and that was about it.
    “Most cunning serpent, you shall no more dare to deceive the
human race, persecute the Church, or torment God’s elect. “  She paused to
make the sign of the cross and sprinkle some holy water