careful with us since those first few weeks. We’re property. We’re valuable. Even Handlers like Anchise have kept themselves from damaging us. Until now. Something has changed.
I try to go to sleep early that night. Of course it takes me a while. I have to count sheepdogs again. I get into the thousands this time.
I dream. I’m beside myself, which strikes me as funny because it was one of my mom’s sayings. She would say, “I was beside myself with worry.” That’s me now, literally. I don’t look at myself, though, because it’s just too strange.
I go into Michael’s dream. How predictable. He’s on a football field. He’s wearing his football uniform.
A referee sees me and throws a flag. “Delay of game!” he shouts.
I leave. I was going to see if I could take Michael with me to Catlin’s, but I change my mind. I go alone. Catlin is standing by her window.
“They’re coming,” she says.
PERSONAL LOG:
Anchise reported that the slaves were reading each other in the library. They were having a conversation. Couldn’t this be a good thing, though? Product that evolves because of us and can do advanced work. We could have a new class of slave. A better one. We could breed them.
But those in power have no vision.
We have our plan. We will create a net, each of us taking a point, and we will close around them, extinguishing their faint flames. It will be quick and painless, but what a waste. I am truly sorry.
“Who’s coming?” I say. But even as I say it, I hear them. I hear them gathering. It’s not exactly gathering, though, because they’re in different places. I’m confused. They’re together but not together.
“They’re joining,” she says.
“They’re what?”
“They’re going to kill us.”
“I’ll be back,” I say.
“Don’t leave me,” she cries. But I do.
I go back to my room, but then I can’t wake myself. I stand there beside myself, the fear pounding in me, and I can’t wake up. Then my mother comes to me. She’s standing over me like she did so many times when she woke me for school. “Time to wake up, Jess.” It’s like it’s really her, like she’s back. I am so happy for a second. Then I wake up. The sorrow and fear hit me at the same moment. I jump up from the floor.
“They’re going to kill us!” I shout. “Run!”
Everyone wakes up pretty quickly. No one needs an explanation of who “they” are. No one doubts that they will kill us, either. We all run out into the hall, and things get chaotic.
“They’re close,” I say to Michael. “You get Lindsey and Lauren. I’ve got to get Catlin.”
We both run up the stairs. I know Catlin’s room is up high. I know that much. But when we get to the girls’ floor, I’m confused. There’s nowhere else to go, no fourth floor, no attic that I can see.
Catlin,
I shout with my mind.
Catlin
.
I hear something. It’s a faint voice. A lot of people are waking now and there’s fear everywhere, like something sharp and cold in the air, like a stinging rain, but I hear Catlin calling my name. I know she’s shouting, but to me it’s barely a whisper.
She’s on this floor. I meet Lauren and Lindsey and Michael coming out of the girls’ room.
“You go get the supplies,” I say. “I’ll meet you outside the kitchen door.”
Lauren hesitates.
“Go,” I say.
And she does. They all do. I listen. Everything is chaos around me. People screaming, pushing, shoving. I stand still. I make my mind find silence and I hear her more clearly, and then it appears at the end of the hall: a door.
“Jesse,” she shouts. “Jesse.”
“I’m here,” I say.
“Where?”
“Outside. There’s a door.”
“Of course,” she says. “The tower is an illusion. He made it all up. It’s just a room, isn’t it?”
“It’s just a room. What should I do?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “Do something. Try something.”
So I try opening the door and it opens right up. I try walking through it,