Free Maternal Instinct by Janice Kay Johnson Page A

staring inward. "I should have done something. Jumped the bastard. I just crouched there."
    "Did the footsteps continue into your office?"
    He shook his head. "I didn't even hear him leave. I know there was another gunshot. I guess that was when he killed himself. At the time, I thought he'd gotten someone else."
    "You stayed there," Hugh said unemotionally. "You didn't leave the cupboard until we came."
    "I was afraid." He blinked hard.
    Nell stirred. "As we said at the time, sir, you did the smart thing. You weren't armed. What could you have done?"
    "That stupid son of a bitch," he said softly. "A joke."
    He knew nothing else. He hadn't looked at a clock or worn a wristwatch; Nell noted that he didn't have one on now.
    He saw them out a different man than had greeted them, diminished by shame, she thought, as much as grief. Nell saw him pinch the bridge of his nose when he thought she wasn't looking, and she knew he would cry when they were gone.
    She rode down the elevator with her partner in silence. Only when they were in the squad car did she turn her head.
    "What was that about?"
    His eyes narrowed. "What?"
    "You were rude from the minute we walked in."
    "You're imagining things. I was never anything but civil." He paused. "Unlike you."
    "What?" She stared at him incredulously.
    "Find him attractive? Or was it just his condo you liked?"
    Temper simmering, Nell snapped, "I cannot believe you just said that."
    Suddenly Hugh's teeth showed. "You were flirting, damn it!"
    "I was not flirting!" she shouted. "And he's not a suspect!"
    "Which is it?" he asked silkily.
    She rarely had an impulse toward violence. Now she did. "I have no interest in St. Clair. I admired his view."
    "Ah. Is that what it was?"
    Rage gave her a headache. "I said or did nothing that you would have even noticed if I were a man. Just because I'm a woman, you assume—"
    Anger glittered in his blue eyes. "Today is the first time I've assumed anything."
    Clutching the steering wheel until her knuckles ached, she snapped, "I wouldn't say that. Just because I was drunk—" Appalled, she slammed to a stop. Too late.
    Hugh's face changed, although she couldn't have guessed what he was thinking.
    Until he said gutturally, "So it was my fault?"
    "No," Nell whispered. "I didn't mean…" She wanted it to have been his fault. She wanted somebody to blame.
    "Then don't say it." He bit off every word as though they tasted bad.
    She made a ragged sound. "We aren't going to talk about this."
    The movement taut and even violent, he shoved his legs out in front of him and turned his head to look out the window, as though the sight of her was unbearable. "Then don't."
    This was her fault. She couldn't deny it. She had violated her own rule.
    It was a minute before she could reach for the key to start the car with a nearly steady hand. She knew where they were going next, thank God, so she didn't have to speak to him.
    She tried to cover the purchase of the pregnancy kit with a basket full of other items—shampoo and conditioner, makeup, a cute scrunchie for Kim's hair, a can of olives that had been on sale at the end of an aisle, magazines randomly chosen.
    The clerk, flirting over her shoulder with another teenager, paid no attention to the pregnancy kit. She and lots of her friends probably had sex all the time, Nell thought tartly, and therefore had frequent cause to check for consequences.
    When Nell unlocked the back door at home and let herself in, she heard a flurry of movement from the living room.
    "Mom?" her daughter called.
    "Who else?" Nell retorted, carrying the groceries she'd also bought on the way home into the kitchen.
    "Hi!" Kim bounced into the kitchen, her smile glowing. "Did you have a good day?"
    Nell eyed her with suspicion. "What—"
    Colin Cooper slouched into the kitchen.
    "Oh," Nell said without enthusiasm. "Colin's here." His presence explained the rustling from the living room and Kim's brilliant smile. They'd been making out and had to