Free Heliopause by Heather Christle Page B

here
    at this fixed distance
    and the lights are fixed there
    in the permanently imminent night
    â–´
    I know there are other cities
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â other hours
    where you can watch the lights
    copying themselves
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  all neoned and strobe-hearted
    â–´
    I know all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    the way to dusky death
    â–´
    Today the reflected window
    seems stupid
    and too bright
    replacing smoke with the pale sky
    and the tree
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â its bare branches
    a cracking explosion
    no eye could resist
    â–´
    to justify desires with omens
    â–´
    to walk away before the morning ends
    â–´
    I’m counting my life

    I’m counting the buildings
    one   one   two
    â–´
    If you are in the center it means
    every edge you can imagine
    is the very same distance away
    â–´
    If this is my home
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â If this is my screen
    If these are my books
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â imagined companions
    â–´
    This is the city
    I can describe it
    Â Â Â Â Â black
    with power
    an electricity
    forced into light

 
    Â 

Vernon Street
    At that time they made
    the telephone in order
    to say
    Â Â  Come here
    I need you
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â and nothing
    has changed except
    here now you are
    and I
    Â in order in
    the order
    that’s arranged this child
    who passes now
    Â Â Â Â Â and answers
    an unheard question
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  It means
    when your life is bad
    and you are dying
    you are running down a hill
    going
    Â Â and then the boy screams
    Next time I will live
    my life in alphabetical order
    Come here I need you
    There are ways
    Â Â Â Â to settle down
    There’s an accidental light
    the grass is showing
    and my cat
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â is so sad
    that the house right now
    divides us
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He is in
    the window crying
    but I am needed outside
    where I have
    ordered myself
    Â Â Â where I half
    expect your voice
    to turn me over
    Â Â Â Â Â and up
    there the quiet sky the plane
    is bringing noise to
    above my head and in it
    I need to show
    you this
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Come here come here

Summer
    Today you find yourself guilty
    as the rim you split
    an egg against
    You press charges
    You spell out your name
    like the letters are medals
    for good conduct in a bad war
    The night moves in with you
    into your room
    until even your sleep
    is not your own
    Through the window
    the grass tells you
    to give up
    and you are trying
    but on the other hand
    things keep you:
    the moon, the cars, cars
    You undress yourself
    more deeply down
    like this is the way
    to get to the future
    You let the darkness
    medically examine you
    So much can’t be
    put back together
    To burn the house down
    to burn the house up
    It’s the same problem
    in any direction
    You’re matter
    You turn on the light

Realistic Flowers
    At the dollar store I bought
    a bouquet of fake flowers
    and what could have been
    but somehow (incredibly) wasn’t
    It only cost $2 but still
    that did not help
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I planted
    the flowers among actual flowers
    b/c what else can you do
    I was so happy I could have
    torn your head apart

I Am Glad of Your Arrival
    Addressing the morning I say
    it was good of you to come
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â as if
    it were the sole visitor amidst scandal
    when in fact
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â it has been endless
    with the trees and grass and cars
    and the cowbell someone’s using
    as a wind chime
    Â Â Â Â Â Â in the winds
    just remnants of the storm
    that wouldn’t stay
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I have thought
    to