Free Savor by Xavier Neal Page B

When you hurt, I hurt. When you have nightmares, I’m right there to make them go away. When your old man put his hands on you, it was my window you climbed through, it was me who nursed those bruises, and it is me who still nurses those mental scars. All that, Logan, all that for you and you had the nerve to look me in the face and accuse me of trapping you into being with me.” Emotions get caught in my throat. “How the hell do you think that makes me feel?”
    “Maxx, I didn’t mean it—”
    “You never mean it! You never mean anything! You get pissed off like some sort of toddler without his juice box and I have to be the one to let it go! To tell you it’s okay! Tell you I forgive you with little to no consequence! Well, I’m done, Logan! I’m fucking done!”
    “You can’t be done…”
    “And why not?”
    Cautiously Logan moves his body towards mine. “Because I need you.”
    “You’re so full of shit.”
    “I’m not kidding, Maxx.”
    “No. You’re just saying what needs to be said so you can be forgiven! This is what you do, Logan! This! And it’s always me who gets run over by your runaway train of anger! Me. The one person who has always been there for you!”
    Logan carefully approaches me, his body much closer than I want it. “Maxx, look at me.” My eyes fall deep into his. “I mean…really look at me.” I let my eyes absorb him, his tense shoulders, and stiff his neck, the circles under his eyes and his exhausted face. Saddened I feel my hand twitch to want to reach out for him, but I choose not to. My eyes close in an attempt to not have to deal with this. With him. His voice cracks. “Maxx…” When I open my eyes, I see he’s on the verge of tears. I suck in a short breath. “Maxx, please don’t give up on me. Please…please…” And with the last word his arms pull me into him, and he does something I’ve never seen him do. He begins to cry.

Chapter 11
    Logan
    Say it if you fucking want. Call me a pussy. Tell me I’m weak. Whatever the fuck you wanna say, but right now I couldn’t give a shit.
    Squeezing Maxx tightly, my head on her shoulder, I let tears fall from my eyes for the first time since my mother’s death. My chest aches as my shoulders shake, my entire body breaking down with the hope that Maxx will catch me. The hope that Maxx won’t let me fall. That she won’t walk away.
    “Please don’t give up on me, Maxx,” I beg softly through the tears. “You’re the only thing I have left in my life…” And nothing happens. She says nothing. She doesn’t move.
    Holy. Shit. I’ve lost her…
    The realization makes me cry harder and suddenly her hands are rubbing my back. In a soft voice she says, “Logan—”
    “No,” I shake my head. “Don’t do this. Don’t walk away from me. Please, Maxx…” When I lift my head to stare at her face, I see her own eyes have tears. “I’m sorry, Maxx. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”
    “Why’d you say it?” she whispers.
    Maybe I haven’t lost her just yet.
    “Why’d you treat me like that? Why’d you—”
    “Because I’m an asshole! Because I’m fucking terrified, Maxx.” I swallow the tears that are in my throat.
    “And I’m not? I’m not afraid you’re out fucking the western hemisphere?!” she shrieks but doesn’t remove me from her arms.
    “You shouldn’t be. I haven’t been able to fucking function since you stepped foot in that ring. There has never been a person in my life that means anywhere near as much as you mean to me.”
    “Then why do you lash out at me?”
    “Because you lash out at me! Because I don’t have that part of my brain that logically tells me to shut the fuck up before I make things worse!”
    Don’t laugh because you know it’s true.
    “Because I’m scared you’re gonna wake up one morning and see me for the fuck up I am and leave me. That the only thing in this life that has made each day worth fucking getting out of bed for is gonna stroll