Free Captain's Day by Terry Ravenscroft Page A

was a collector of miniature china figurines, and as such was a regular customer of China Times, a gift shop in the town which sold delicate porcelain at indelicate prices. The shop was owned and run by Edna Burroughs, the wife of the current Lord Mayor. Both Millicent and Edna were members of the local bridge circle and over the years had become, if not close friends, then friendly acquaintances. So much so that when Mr Captain had expressed a desire for something that would make his Captain's Day special, something out of the ordinary that would make it stand out from other Captain's Days, Millicent had thought immediately of her connection with the wife of the Lord Mayor, and through her with the Lord Mayor himself. Within twenty four hours, which was as long as it took for Millicent to purchase five hundred pounds worth of porcelain from China Times and for news of her purchase to reach the ears of the Lord Mayor via his wife, the Mayoral visit had been arranged. Mr Captain had been doubly pleased. Not only would the visit of the Lord Mayor bring him much esteem, but it could very well lead to he himself becoming Lord Mayor one day, an ambition he had been harbouring for quite some time.
    To become Lord Mayor would of course first necessitate his being voted onto the local town council, which until now had been the stumbling block in the road to his ambitions. So far as Mr Captain could see there were two ways which would ensure that enough of the electorate voted for you to give you a seat on the town council; by becoming a popular member of the community through being a do-gooder who worked hard for those people less fortunate than himself, and who championed the causes of the underdog; or by being recognised as a natural leader of men.
    Mr Captain knew that if he were to remain true to his beliefs he could never become a councillor by the former method. He didn't believe in putting himself out for others, quite the opposite, he had always held the opinion that if you worked hard for people less fortunate than yourself they would simply take advantage of you, when what they should be doing is asking themselves why they were less fortunate than you in the first place and damn well doing something about it. As for championing the underdog, let the underdog get up off his idle backside and champion himself if he wanted to make something of himself. However, now that he was captain of the local golf club, and especially now it would be seen by all and sundry that he was a friend of the present Lord Mayor, a man with whom he happened to share the same political leanings, there was every chance he might be recognised as a natural leader of men.
    It certainly wouldn't be for want of trying; that much was for sure. The local newspaper had been informed of the occasion and had agreed to send along a reporter and photographer to cover the event, and the local radio station had promised to send someone along to report on the day’s proceedings. After that it would simply be a matter of getting the Lord Mayor to endorse his nomination for the next local elections, and he would be on his way.

    Having hit their drives at the par four fourth, Elwes and Dawson were standing at the side of the tee waiting for Fidler to tee off.
    “ Will you be calling in at the nineteenth for a couple later?” asked Elwes of Dawson.
    “ Does the Pope shit in the woods?” said Dawson.
    “ Quiet!” barked Fidler. “On the tee!”
    Dawson and Elwes stopped talking, respecting their playing partner’s right to total silence while he was making his shot. Fidler hit his drive and anxiously watched the flight of his ball. His tee shot at the previous hole had been much better, more like one of his usual drives, finding the fairway for the first time that day, but this time his drive was just as wild as the first two had been. On this occasion however his ball didn't go out of bounds, but only because a copse of tall trees bordering the fairway stopped