Free 47 Destinies: Finding Grace by Marlies Schmudlach Perez Page B

page markers.
    “That particular book has a lot of motivational short stories, prose and poetry.  I like to read portions of it to the staff and kids at the Boys and Girls Club.  I firmly believe that our thought life has the power to steer our lives.  If we fill our mind with negativity, our actions will act in response.  However, if we choose to dwell on positive thoughts, we can access the richness the world has to offer.”
    Grace was impressed.  She opened the book and began to read a portion out loud:
    “The smoke left a trail of where it had been; like a long twisty road leading nowhere. Yet the candle could not see it’s smoke, for it was blinded by its own glow.  To burn and do what we are made for can bring the world brightness, but it also takes a part of us away.  There is a cost.  We cannot move forward further into who we really are without some form of sacrifice.  But if there were no smoke, there would also be no light.  What are candles known for?  The insignificant amount of smoke they emit or the bright warm glow of the light?  What are you known for?”  After reading the passage, Grace put the book down in her lap.  She remained quiet for several moments.
    “I don’t know what I am known for besides being a mother,” Grace admitted.  “Please don’t get me wrong; I love being a mother.  However, I haven’t even figured out my own individual skills and abilities.  How will I teach my children to discover theirs?  What will I do with my time when my children are grown?  There are even times now that I don’t know what to do,” Grace said before she turned her head to look out the window.  What was wrong with her?  She was usually a professional at hiding her feelings.  Why was she revealing them to this man beside her?
    “It has taken me a long time to find myself, Grace.  Growing up, I lived exactly how my parents taught me.  I didn’t question anything, but I found over time a deep frustration began to build inside myself.  Then when I was married, I conformed to a lot of my wife’s expectations and beliefs.”
    Todd continued, “I worked so hard at making sure everyone else was happy that I had no idea how to create my own happiness.  Once my wife left me, I broke away completely from everyone for months in order to take some time to figure out what I wanted.  That is how I ended up at the Boys and Girls Club.  My parents are against my decision because they feel with my education and upbringing, I am not reaching my full potential.  But I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  Does my rambling make any sense?”
    “Yes. You said your parents wanted your life to go a certain way.  What do you mean by that?” Grace asked innocently.  Todd knew she meant no harm, but delving into his family issues made him extremely uncomfortable.  He wasn’t sure how to respond.
    “I would rather not talk about my family right now.  It is a difficult subject for me,” Todd said, unwilling to go into further detail.
    Grace was surprised by his abrupt response.  His face went flat and his body tensed up.  There was obvious hurt in Todd’s expression that he wasn’t able to talk about.  Grace reached over to Todd and slipped her hand gently into his hand.  She smiled warmly and squeezed his hand.
    “I completely understand,” Grace replied with no anger or irritation in her voice.  She truly understood what it felt like to have deep-rooted pain.  It was challenging to talk about and often difficult to find the words to express it adequately.  If and when Todd was ready to talk about it, she would be there to listen. 
    “Where are we headed, exactly?”  Grace asked as they took the freeway up towards the Sierra Nevada Foothills.  They had already passed through Cora’s neck of the woods in Berkeley.  Cora was set to move to Bodega Bay with Brent after the upcoming wedding.  Grace smiled when she thought about the wedding.  It was going to be the