Free Truly I do by Katherine West Page A

few hours before
she had dared to hope for a happier and more fulfilling future. Now
she felt betrayed, lied to, tricked and desperately, desperately
lonely. She pulled off her clothes leaving them on the floor where
they fell. She wrapped herself in the softness of her fleecy
dressing gown and curled up under the covers of the hotel bed. She
could not cry, she'd cried too much in the recent past now there
were no tears left. She lay huddled in darkness, aching all over
and devoid of any emotion, just waiting for daylight and the chance
to drag herself home.
    *
    It seemed
almost a miracle that Julie-Anne's mobile phone, lying forgotten in
the depths of her handbag, rang at midnight. She crawled out of bed
and fumbled in the darkness to find it. There it was, flashing it's
solemn blue light in the gloom. She picked it up and looked at it.
"Mum!" She breathed, "Oh, Mum!" She pressed the buttons to return
her mother's call. Auckland, New Zealand was thirteen hours ahead
of British time so it must be about one in the afternoon there,
Julie-Anne imagined the lovely sunshine and scenery of the New
Zealand home of her aunt and parents.
    The call only
rang twice before her mother answered "Hello darling, thanks for
calling me back. I just wanted to know how you are doing?" Her
mother sounded concerned, "We haven't heard from you for ages - we
were beginning to worry!"
    Croaky from
exhaustion, Julie-Anne related all of the events as she saw them
since the day Russell had turned up at her house. Her mother made
sympathetic noises while she was speaking. "Poor darling", she
said, "but are you sure you're right about him Julie-Anne? Is he
really such a blaggard or are you just being over cautious because
of your past relationship?" This, of course, was Julie-Anne's real
dilemma. She didn't know whether she should have trusted Russell,
taken him at face value, continued making friends with him in good
faith . . . or not? She didn't answer her mother's question so her
mother spoke again, "Do you think you should at least have
breakfast with the poor chap? Apologise for the misunderstanding
and then go home feeling a bit less battered, eh?" the woman
suggested.
    "Oh, mum! How
could I have breakfast with him?" Julie-Anne implored as if she'd
just been given an order. "I don't know how to trust him. Maybe
that's it, the problem is that I just can't trust anybody. My
emotions feel so raw and vulnerable, I don't want to get into a
situation where I finally fall properly in love - only to be pushed
aside and hurt. I got too used to just rubbing along, not having to
bother with emotional entanglement. Now - well now I don't think I
have the strength to manage a proper relationship and I certainly
don't want to set myself up as some-one's stooge ever again. No
mum, I think things would be best left as they are now. I'm just
going to go home. Can I call you again when I get there?" Her
parents were in the habit of going off on long adventure treks up
into the mountains and all over the place - it was their retirement
hobby and they loved being out in the wilds together, but that did
make it very hard for Julie-Anne to catch them on the phone
sometimes, when she wanted to. She heard her mother sigh.
    "Yes darling.
Your father's twisted his ankle so we've promised to stay at home
for Christmas and let him rest up a bit."
    "Oh Mum!"
Julie-Anne declared, feeling guilty, "I didn't even think to ask
how you two were, I was so wrapped up in my own problems. Is Dad
okay?"
    "Yes my love.
He's just in need of a bit of rest before we take our next trip
that's all - we're fine I promise. In fact he's right here
listening on the other hand-set. Why don't you two say hello while
I go and pour us a cool drink?"
    In the
darkness Julie-Anne became aware of the little background noises
that had betrayed her father's presence on the telephone line. She
smiled to think of him. He was a big man with a generous smile and
a kind heart. "Hi hunny!" His deep voice was clear