Free Arranged by Catherine McKenzie Page A

through all the hard times if love weren’t on the line.”
    “She never said she wasn’t in love with him.”
    “Did she say she was?”
    “No, but . . .” I stop myself. Cathy’s right. Ashi never used the word “love.” I only thought I felt it. “You guys have had hard times?”
    “You think we’ve survived being the parents of three kids without serious arguments?”
    “No. I just meant you make it look easy, that’s all.”
    “Love isn’t always easy.”
    “I know.”
    It’s her turn to blush. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean . . . I should’ve asked how things are going . . .”
    “Since I left Stuart? Some days are better than others.”
    “Are you seeing anyone?”
    “No.”
    “Oh, good, because there’s this guy at Gil’s work—”
    “Oh, no.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I’m not sure I feel like dating right now.”
    Jane pops her thumb out of her mouth with a wet plop. “What’s dating?”
    “It’s a silly thing grown-ups do to make themselves unhappy.”
    “Come on, Anne. He’s a great guy who’s ready to settle down.”
    “Translation, he’s s-c-r-e-w-e-d every twenty-year-old he could, and now that he’s getting older and having less success getting l-a-i-d, he’s ready to date a woman near his own age and waste a few months of her time until she realizes he’s never going to commit.”
    “He’s not like that, really. He was in a long-term relationship and they broke up.”
    “Because he cheated on her?”
    “No.”
    “Because she wanted kids and he didn’t?”
    “Nothing like that, Anne, I promise. It just didn’t work out. He’s a nice person, and she’s a nice person, and they fell out of love. No big drama.”
    “Where are my girls?” Gilbert calls from the front hall.
    Jane jumps off my lap, and Elizabeth untangles herself from Cathy. They both run toward the front door, squealing, “Daaddddyyyyy!” at the top of their voices. And there it is. The knot of jealousy I often feel when I come here, the thing that keeps me from coming as often as I should.
    Gil comes into the kitchen holding a girl in each arm. My brother is six feet two, has hazel eyes and curly brown hair with a glint of red in it. He’s starting to go gray at the temples, and he has laugh lines around his eyes. In contrast to my too-white skin, his is golden and tans easily. If it wouldn’t tag me as a Flowers in the Attic type, I’d describe him as handsome. As it is, he’s just my sometimes annoying big brother.
    “Heya, Cordelia, glad you could make it.”
    My jaw tenses. I give him a curt nod. “Gilbert.”
    He kisses Cathy on the nape of her neck. “Hey, beautiful.”
    She pushes him away. “Hey, yourself.”
    “Why so bashful? Anne’s seen us kiss hundreds of times.”
    “I’ll close my eyes,” I tell her.
    “Stop it, both of you,” Cathy says.
    Gilbert dumps the girls in my lap. Elizabeth promptly goes back to her station at Cathy’s feet. Gil loosens his tie and drapes his jacket over the back of a chair tucked under the breakfast bar. “Did Cathy tell you about Richard?”
    “Is Richard the dating?” Jane asks.
    “That’s right, muffin,” Gilbert says as he gives me a wicked smile.
    B y the end of dinner, Gilbert somehow convinces me to go on a date with Richard, a lawyer in his firm, even though I’m not sure I should be dating, given the whole Blythe & Company thing. But in the end I figure, what do I have to lose?
    Unfortunately, the answer to that question turns out to be several hours of my life.
    The night starts out fine. Richard chooses a good restaurant. It has light wood floors, exposed brick walls, and square, intimate tables with an individual oblong chandelier hovering over each one. The room glows with the right kind of light, feeling cozy and alive at the same time, and I can smell a delicious blend of aromas coming from the kitchen.
    I follow a waitress through the restaurant, feeling good in my flirty black skirt and a soft sweater