Free A Family and a Fortune by Ivy Compton-Burnett Page B

voice rose to a scream, as her words did nothing and Miss Griffin passed out of hearing. She rocked herself to and fro and muttered to herself, with her hands clenched and her jaw thrust forward in a manner which would have made a piece of acting and really had something of this in it, as she did not lose sight of herself.
    Miss Griffin went along the passage and paused at the end where the wall made a support, and looked to see that Matty had not followed.
    â€˜It is all I have. Just this. I have nothing else. I have no home, no friends. I go on, year after year, never have any pleasure, never have any change. She feels nothing for me after I have been with her for thirty years. All the best years of my life. And it gets worse with every year. I thought this move might make a change, but it is going to be the same. And my life is going; I may never have anything else; and no one ought to have only that.’ She shed some tears, scanty through fear and furtiveness, and lightening her face and throwing off a part of her burden, went into the kitchen to the maid, glad of this degree of human fellowship.
    Matty, left to herself, relaxed her body and her mind and hoped that her father had not heard her voice, or rather recalled that he would behave as if he had not done so. When Oliver came from his study to bid her a good night, she rose to meet him, hiding what she could of her lameness, and led him to a chair, amending both his and her own conception of herself.
    â€˜I come to take my leave of you, my dear, in case I do not see you again. My end may come at any time and why not tonight? The strength ebbs after dark and I have used too much of mine today. So good night and more, if that is to be.’
    â€˜Come, Father, you are overtired and depressed by beingin this funny little place. Cosy we are to call it, and we will do our best. We have to try to do so many things and in time we shall succeed. We are not people who fail. We will not be.’
    â€˜I am almost glad that your mother is not here tonight, Matty. This would not have been a home for her. It will do for you and me.’
    â€˜I don’t know why we should be so easily satisfied,’ said Matty, unable to accept this view of herself in any mood. ‘But we shall have another outlook tomorrow and it will seem a different place, and we shall wish Mother back with us, as I have wished her many times today.’ Her father must pay for using such words of his daughter. ‘But we can’t do anything more tonight. We have striven to our limit and beyond. It is no wonder if we fail a little. I daresay we have all had our lapses from our level.’
    Oliver, who was in no doubt of it, left her and mounted the stairs, bringing his feet together on each. In his room above the step became stronger, and Matty listened and put him from her mind. She understood her father. A good deal of him had come down to her.
    Miss Griffin came in later with a tray, to find Matty in an attitude of drooping weariness, with a pallor which was real after her stress of feeling.
    â€˜Will you have something hot to drink?’ she said in a tone which seemed to beseech something besides what it said. ‘It will do you good before you go to bed.’
    â€˜It will do us both good. It was a sensible thought. If you will bring up that little table and move that chair’ - Matty indicated with vivacious hand this further effort for Miss Griffin - ‘we will have a cosy time together and feel that we are doing what we should, as cosy is what we are supposed to be.’
    â€˜It really is rather cosy in here,’ said Miss Griffin, looking round with a faint air of surprise.
    â€˜Yes, it is foolish to fret for the might-have-beens. Or for the have-beens in this case.’
    Miss Griffin did not fret for these.
    â€˜Now do not shirk drinking your share,’ said Matty,replenishing the cups. ‘You need it as much as I do. Being up and doing is as