Free Save Me From Me by Erika Ashby Page B

always some place different because he likes to keep changing the scenery. Like we don’t do that enough just with this job. Today we are heading to some lake he used to go to as a kid. He says that about every lake we visit. But, it’s very possible that Big Fish has been to every waterin’ hole in Oklahoma and its neighboring states have to offer.
    “Oh, that chick that gave you a blow job.” He smiles.
    “Wrong. The other girl. The one who caught me and that chick.” I smile as I remember how that whole thing went down. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had anyone walk in on or up on me while having anything done to my dick. Whether it was getting sucked, or being fucked, it’s never happened, or if it has, the other person didn’t stop and actually watch. I have no idea why the hell that was such a turn on, but her watching and the way her eyes scanned me up and down and her breathing almost seemed to stop. And when she licked her lips, ahh, it was all much more of a turn on than the chick who actually had her mouth wrapped around me taking it deep.
    “Oh her. The one who whooped Dick Suckin’ McGee’s ass?”
    “That’s the one.” I sigh.
    “She’s hot. You better be careful, though.” I look at him, wondering where the hell he’s going with this. “She’s like a ninja with a pool stick. Don’t ever piss her off.”
    I just laugh because my boy Rusty is being completely serious, and I can’t help but find humor in that.

 
     
     
    Work blows. Waking up at four a.m. blows. Living a life that you never really wanted blows. Knowing you don’t want it and holding the power to change it, yet not doing so… BLOWS. I try to be optimistic. I really do, but damn, sometimes life sucks. I’m sure everyone goes through these times. No worries, I’m very thankful to even have a job and all that shit, but this is not the life I ever wanted. I hate to curse my dead cousin, but that peckerhead is partly responsible for this. Only partly though, because I should have stood up to him instead of letting him persuade me to take off. I don’t kick my ass as often as I used to. I used to, mainly for the fact that I gave up on Jesika when I took off. Sealed the deal on losing the only girl I’ve ever loved and gave up an awesome friend as well.
    Being a pussy sucks! I vow to never be a pussy again. I also vow to never run off from something I want. I will never give up without some sort of a fight or at least voicing my feelings. How can someone make a valid decision if they don’t even know there’s a choice? The day I learned that I had lost Jesika to someone else because I wasn’t around, I promised myself to do things differently the next time around. If there ever is a next time. Fucking life. Fucking work. Fucking, scratchy ass blankets and brick-feeling mattresses. Maybe that’s why I’m so pissy this morning – and the fact that this coffee tastes like what I assume ass tastes like. If not, it’s in the same shit-tasting category. If I weren’t desperate for the ten percent caffeine that’s in this full cup, then I’d just dump it. But I need it, anything, right now to somewhat lift me out of this piss poor mood.
    “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Huh, Mr. Grumpy McGrumpersome?” Rusty teases, but I’m not in a teasing mood.
    “Fuck off, Dill Weed,” I reply as I pull open the driver side door of our work truck.
    “Mr. Sexually Frustrated could have got some at the lake yesterday, but chose to actually do some real fishing instead.”
    “I’m not sexually frustrated. Plus, I wasn’t into them girls.”
    “That’s never stopped you before.”
    He’s right. It never has. I don’t know what my deal is.
    “Maybe I’m a changed man.” I look over and smirk.
    “Yeah, right, dude. And I’m fuckin’ Hugh Heffner.”
    “You wish.”
    “You’re right. I want to be him when I grow up.”
    “Well, you got a long time to go there, lil buddy.” I laugh. My coffee must be