Free Zombocalypse Now by Matt Youngmark Page B

“There’s rumor of a bunch of zombie activity at this big church outside town, but I think Cardinal D’Amato has something on him, because the chief won’t let us go near it.”
    Wait a minute. “Clampy Pete?” you ask. “Stuffed crab? Gruff exterior?”
    “That’s the captain, all right,” Vinny says. You and Clampy Pete have a long history, and not much of it is good. You’re surprised to hear that he’s running a municipal police department these days. From the sound of things, though, he might not be for very long. The officers tell Mittens that much of the force is ready to rebel against Pete’s by-the-book response to the zombie invasion, and if she’s willing to stand up and challenge his authority, they could put together a full-scale mutiny.
    “Police Chief Mittens,” she says, tapping her chin with a finger. “I like the sound of that.” She offers you a spot on her new renegade police force if you want to come along for the ride.

    If you join Mittens and the other cops in their attempted takeover of Clampy Pete’s precinct, turn to page 94.

    If you want no part of a police mutiny and politely decline, turn to page 97.

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    77
    You turn the engine off and slowly step onto the road. As tempting as it may be, you can’t leave these two here to die. “Just calm down, Billy,” you say as gently as possible. “Why don’t you give me that shotgun?”
     “You know what?” Billy says, somehow becoming even more agitated. “I think this is all your fault. With your big ears and your fancy Toyota Celica. I think you’re confusing her.”
     Over his shoulder, you see a large group of zombies coming up the street. You need to end this quickly.
    “Billy,” Prudence says softly.
    “THIS is what I think of your Celica!” he shouts, blasting away at the front hood. Ouch. You wish he hadn’t done that.
    Prudence tries again. “Billy, there’s zombies.”
    “I know there’s zombies!” Billy screams. Clearly he doesn’t, because they’re approaching very quickly now. “You think those zombies can love you as much as I do?” He reloads and fires again, taking out two of the tires for good measure. 
    “Billy, they’re right behind you,” you say, grabbing him and turning his head forcibly as he fumbles for another round.
    “Oh,” he says lamely. “Okay, now I’m out of buckshot.”
    It’s too late to run as the zombies pin you down and immediately start chewing. They manage to devour you whole before the infection sets in, but both Billy and Prudence turn before the crowd can finish with them. The two stumble off together with their new peers, worry free, content to be two undead companions eternally in search of their next meal.
    Ah, young love.

    THE END

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    78
    “Just let me check things out,” you say. “If it’s really that bad in there, we’ll go with your plan. But don’t go blowing anything up until I get back!”
    You find the door to the main building unlocked, and the place seems to be abandoned. Could Clarence have made up his whole story about the zombies? You look for a room labeled “fluoride conspiracy” or “zombification area” or something. Needless to say, you don’t find it, and within minutes you’re hopelessly lost.
    Eventually, you stumble upon the main water processing machinery. It’s behind heavy, locked doors with little porthole windows, and from what you can tell there’s nobody in there, dead or alive. That’s a relief—at least there aren’t a bunch of zombies dripping goo into the water supply. That’s a lot of running water, though . . . now you have to pee. You wander back out into the hallways and are lucky enough to find a bathroom.
    Upon opening the door, though, you immediately realize that your luck has run out. Half a dozen zombies are crowded inside, huddled around a picked-clean corpse. You turn to run, but slip on something sticky that you don’t even want to recognize. The things are all over you in a