another argument with Father â this time the milk buckets werenât clean enough. Thereâs alwayssomething, and Father will shout at him so. Billy says he wants to go to America and that one day he will. Heâs always saying things like that. I wish he wouldnât. It frightens me. I wish Father would be kinder to him.
FEBRUARY 12TH
The Night of the Storm
A TERRIBLE STORM LAST NIGHT AND THE PINE tree at the bottom of the garden came down, missing the hen-house by a whisker. The wind was so loud we never even heard it fall. Iâm sure the hens did. Weâve lost more slates off the roof above Billyâs room. But we were lucky. The end of Granny Mayâs roof has gone completely. It just lifted off in the night. Itâs sitting lopsided across her escallonia hedge. Fatherâs been up there all day trying to do what he can to keep the rain out. Everyone would be there helping, but there isnât a building on the island that hasnât been battered. Granny May just sat down in her kitchen all day and shook her head. She wouldnâtcome away. She kept saying sheâll never be able to pay for a new roof and where will she go and what will she do? We stayed with her, Mother and me, giving her cups of tea and telling her it will be all right.
âSomethingâll turn up,â Mother said. Sheâs always saying that. When Father gets all inside himself and miserable and silent, when the cows arenât milking well, when he canât afford the timber to build his boats, she always says, âDonât worry, somethingâll turn up.â
She never says it to me because she knows I wonât believe her. I wonât believe her because I know she doesnât believe it herself. She just says it to make him feel better. She just hopes itâll come true. Still, it must have made Granny May feel better. She was her old self again this evening, talking away happily to herself. Everyone on the island calls her a mad old stick. But sheâs not really mad. Sheâs just old and a bit forgetful. She does talk to herself, but then sheâs lived alone most of her life, so itâs not surprising really. I love her because sheâs my granny, because she loves me, and because she shows it. Mother has persuaded her to come and stay for a bit until she can move back into her house again.
Billyâs in trouble again. He went off to St Maryâs without telling anyone. He was gone all day. When he got back this evening he never said a word to me or Granny May. Father buttoned his lip for as long as he could. Itâs always been the same with Father and Billy. They set each other off. They always have. Itâs Billyâs fault really, most of the time anyway. He starts it. He does things without thinking. He says things without thinking. And Fatherâs like a squall. He seems calm and quiet one moment and then . . . I could feel it coming. He banged the table and shouted. Billy had no right going off like that, he said, when there was so much to be put right at Granny Mayâs. Billy told him heâd do what he pleased, when he pleased and he wasnât anyoneâs slave. Then he got up from the table and ran out, slamming the door behind him. Mother went after him. Poor Mother, always the peacemaker.
Father and Granny May had a good long talk about âyoung folk todayâ, and how they donât know how lucky they are these days and how they donât know what hard work is all about. Theyâre still at it downstairs. I went in to see Billy just a few minutes ago. Heâs been crying, I can tell. He says he doesnâtwant to talk. Heâs thinking, he says. That makes a change, I suppose.
FEBRUARY 14TH
GRANNY MAYâS ROOF HAS BEEN PATCHED UP. She moved back home yesterday. We are on our own again.
Father said at breakfast he thought Molly would calve down today and that Billy and me should keep an eye on her. Billy went off to St