Free I'll Be Seeing You by A.P. Hallmark Page B

feeling totally incompetent.
    "You've got that man so flustered, Joy. He wants you so badly, and that’s why I’m here today. You need educated."
    "What do you mean, 'educated?" I ask warily. Laura does things to the extreme, and I get concerned sometimes.
    "S.E.X. baby."
    "Would you put that in Braille, please?  Apparently I need it spelled out."
    "Very funny," Laura giggles while rummaging through her bag. I can hear her digging to the bottom as we speak.
    "Here, hold this," she says, placing something in my hand.
    "What is it?" I ask while examining it.
    It feels soft, yet firm. I can just barely wrap my hand around it, and it has long squiggly lines going up the side. The very top is kind of pointed in a round kind of way.
    "That, my dear child, is what they call a dildo," Laura explains, as it falls to the ground.
    "What the hell, Laura?" I yell at her. Conrad comes to my side and puts his head in my hand. "It's okay, boy. Auntie Laura is just trying to teach me her slutty ways. It's all right; I won't let her rub off on me," I say, petting his head.
    "Ha ha. Very funny," Laura retorts. "I just thought you would want to know what it feels like, since you've never seen or felt one before. If you and Matthew decide to get intimate, wouldn't you want to know what it is before you touch it and shriek 'Oh, My God, Matthew, you have an appendage between your legs, have you seen a doctor for that?'"
    "Yeah, ha ha, very funny," I say, mocking her, dropping down hard onto the couch.
    "Well, don't you want to know what you’re getting yourself into? I mean, clearly, you two have some serious sexual chemistry. You feel it, don't you?"
    "Yes. I feel it. When I kiss him, my whole body does something. It feels … alive. It feels like I can't get close enough to him. Like I want more of him, but I don't know what that more is, you know?” I ask, really needing to understand these feelings.
    "You want him, Joy. He turns you on. Do you feel anything down … there?
    "Where?" I tease, making her spell it out for me.
    "You know … there."
    "Where?" I ask, barely able to keep from bursting out laughing.
    "Christ, Joy, between your legs!" she yells, and I finally laugh at her discomfort at trying to say the word. It's sweet to see her so hard and bad-ass around other people, but so protective of me and my virgin ears. I love that about her.
    "Oh, you mean in my vagina?" I say, laughing.
    "Yes, Joy. In your pussy, all right?" she nearly shouts, laughing along with me.
    We both fall into a fit of giggles and laugh even harder when I scream because she throws that dildo onto my lap again. My hands and arm thrash around to remove it like it’s a live snake.
    "Stop it, you're going to make me pee my pants," Laura cries, barely able to speak with laughing so hard.
    "Is this what Matthew feels like?" I ask curiously, as I feel the sides and the shape of the tip.
    "That, what you’re doing with your hand, stroking up and down will really turn him on. Men seem to really like it when you do that," she explains.
    "But what about him … you know … with me?" I ask, wondering how it is when a man touches a woman.
    "You must've touched yourself, right? You know your V-A-G-I-N-A." she spells, giggling again.
    "Yes. But only out of curiosity," I reply, laughing at her.
    "That's what masturbation is all about at first. Curiosity of one's own body, and the awesome feelings you can make your body feel doing it."
    I feel strange talking about this with her. We’ve never discussed this subject before, but in reality, I've never had cause to. I've never had anyone in my life that required me to be educated like this.
    "I slept with Jessie," she blurts out of the blue.
    "What!? Already? Shit, Laura," I say, knowing how shocked I sound.
    "I couldn't help it. When he was standing at my door, he looked so good in those blue jeans, and they were so … tight. I couldn't stop staring, so when he asked me if I saw something I liked, I had to answer him