Free Highland Fling by Nancy Mitford Page A

wounded birds out of their pain.
    After an exhausting walk of about half an hour, during which Jane fell down several times (and the general said it would be easy walking, old humbug!), they arrived at a row of little roofless buildings, rather like native huts. The first one theycame to was immediately, and silently, appropriated by Lord and Lady Prague, followed by their attendant.
    Jane supposed that they were allocated in order of rank and wondered which would fall to her lot.
    ‘Better come with me, Miss Dacre,’ said General Murgatroyd. It was the first time he had spoken except to swear at his dog, which he did continually, breaking the monotony by thrashing the poor brute, whose shrieks could be heard for miles across the heather.
    When they reached his hut (or butt) he shouted in a voice of thunder:
    ‘Get in, will you, and lie down.’
    Jane, though rather taken aback, was about to comply when a kick from its master sent poor Mons flying into the butt, and she realized that the words had been addressed to that unfortunate and not to herself.
    General Murgatroyd gave Jane his cartridge bag to sit on and paid no further attention to her. He and his attendant (the correct word for whom appeared to be
loader
) stood gazing over the top of the butt into space.
    Seated on the floor, Jane could see nothing outside except a small piece of sky; she wondered why she had been made to leave her black mackintosh behind.
    ‘I can neither see nor be seen. I expect it was that old woman’s jealous spite. I don’t believe she’s a woman at all. She’s just a very battered boy scout in disguise, and not much disguise, either.’
    She began to suffer acutely from cold and cramp, and was filled with impotent rage. Eons of time passed over her. She pulled a stone out of the wall and scratched her name on another stone, then Albert’s name, then a heart with an arrow through it (but she soon rubbed that off again). She knew the shape of the general’s plus-fours and the pattern of his stockings by heart, and could have drawn an accurate picture ofthe inside of the butt blindfold, when suddenly there was an explosion in her ears so tremendous that for an instant she thought she must have been killed. It was followed by several more in quick succession, and a perfect fusillade began, up and down the line. This lasted for about twenty minutes, and Jane rather enjoyed it – ‘As good as an Edgar Wallace play.’
    At last it died away again, and General Murgatroyd said, ‘Well, the drive’s over. You can get up now, if you like.’ Jane endeavoured to stand, but her legs would hardly carry her. After rubbing them for a bit she was just able to stagger out of the butt. She saw all around her the same band of peasants that had met them when they left the bus earlier that morning. Most of them were carrying dead grouse and picking up others.
    ‘How kind!’ she thought. ‘The general has taken pity on the poor creatures and given them permission to gather the birds for their evening meal. He must really be nicer than he looks.’
    Thinking of the evening meal made Jane realize that she was extremely hungry. ‘Luncheon time soon, I expect.’ She glanced at her watch. Only eleven o’clock! It must have stopped. Still ticking, though. Perhaps the hands had got stuck. She asked Admiral Wenceslaus the time.
    ‘Nearly eleven, by Jove! We shall have to show a leg if we’re to get in two more drives before lunch.’
    Jane could hardly restrain her tears on hearing this. She sat hopelessly on a rock, while the rest of the party wandered about the heather looking for dead grouse.
    When one of them found a bird he would whistle up his dog and point to the little corpse saying, ‘Seek hard,’ and making peculiar noises in his throat. The dog would occasionally pick it up and give it into his master’s hand, but more often would sniff away in another direction, in which case its master seized it by the scruff of the neck, rubbed its