Free Sebastian Darke: Prince of Fools by Philip Caveney Page B

a princess, but a little girl, lost and afraid.
     
'You have to understand, I've been spoiled all my life. Everything I wanted was there for me on a plate, I only had to snap my fingers! So little wonder that I grew up believing that I was something special. And then I lost my parents when I was still so young and I had to make myself hard and not show my feelings. The people at court were watching me, waiting for me to break down, but I would not give them that satisfaction. I had to hide my true self behind the image I show to the world . . .'
     
'Hush,' whispered Sebastian, lifting a hand to stroke her hair. 'It's all right, really.' But she didn't seem to hear him.
     
'I . . . I know I say things sometimes . . . stupid selfish things . . . but it's like there's a little voice inside me, buzzing inside my head, telling me that I can do what I want, I can say what I want, because one day soon I will be Queen! And I want to be Queen, but at the same time I don't, because that's such a terrible responsibility, and what happens if I make some stupid mistake and I'm too proud to say I was wrong?' Now her voice dissolved into a flurry of frantic sobs and it was no longer possible to understand what she was saying; so Sebastian just held her until her tears subsided and she was able to control her breathing enough to speak.
     
'You were right,' she whispered. 'I have much to learn.'
     
'Princess,' he said, 'you have no idea how much I wish I had held my tongue. I didn't mean to upset you. That was the last thing I wanted.'
     
She pulled back from him a little and gazed up at him, her lovely eyes catching the light of the oil lamp. He had a sudden irrational desire to kiss her, but managed to suppress it. That was a complication he really couldn't afford.
     
'You are worried about your future employment,' she said. 'You needn't be. I won't hold your words against you.'
     
'It's not that,' he assured her. 'That doesn't matter. Well, it does matter . . . but not as much as other things.' He looked at her for a moment. 'Princess Kerin, may I speak frankly?'
     
She smiled, dashing the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her sumptuous gown. I fear you already have,' she said.
     
'Well, I intend to say more,' he said fearlessly. He took a deep breath. 'When I first met you, I confess that I didn't like you.'
     
'Oh.' She looked crestfallen. 'I hope this gets better,' she said.
     
'It does. You know, my mother always told me that beauty . . . true beauty, lies within a person. It's not what you see. It's what you sense about them. The elvish people have an ability to detect it. I may have inherited a little of that skill from my mother, but my powers are not as acute as hers. So it takes a while for me to get a clear picture. A while ago I told you that the outer princess was beautiful; and indeed she is, as any fool can see. But now I have realized that there is another person inside the one that I first met. And I can tell that this inner princess has everything that a queen needs. She has compassion enough for ten people. She is sensitive and intelligent and caring and she has a lot of love to give. She only needs to learn how to free her inner self and then everyone will know what I know now. That she is a very special person indeed.'
     
There was a long silence. Princess Kerin sat there looking at him, her expression doubtful. Then she smiled.
     
'It did get better,' she said. 'And I see that as well as a jester, you are something of a poet, Mr Darke.' She reached out and took his hands in hers. 'We will be friends, you and I. I have spoken to you of things I have never told anyone.'
     
'I'm glad,' he told her. 'I feel privileged to have heard them.'
     
She smiled bewitchingly. 'Now,' she told him, 'there is one more question that I must ask.'
     
'Ask it,' he told her.
     
'What's for supper? I'm absolutely starving!'
     
He laughed at that. 'Well, your highness, we can offer you roast fowl, which even now is