Free Lost in the Dark Unchanted Forest by John R. Erickson Page A

stand by myself in the rain and I’ll enjoy ever’ minute of it because I’d rather be around ME than be around a bunch of ninnies! So there!”
    And with that, he waddled out on the ledge and stood in the pouring rain. Junior turned to me and gave me a shy smile.
    â€œH-hi, D-d-doggie. P-pa t-t-told a l-lie and y-you d-d-did r-right to m-m-make him l-l-leave.”
    Just then, Wallace stuck his face back inside the cave and said, “And furthermore, I hope all y’all’s babies are born naked!” Then he went back out.
    â€œJunior,” I said, “I’d like for you to meet a friend of mine. This here’s Little Alfred. Alfred, this here’s Junior the Buzzard.”
    Little Alfred stared at us in amazement. “A weel buzzood?”
    â€œThat’s right, son. In a year or two, you won’t be able to talk back and forth with us like this, but you can now and we might as well give you the full treatment. When you get home, you can tell your ma that you met a real genuine buzzard.”
    â€œH-hi, A-a-a-a-alfred.”
    The boy couldn’t speak. He just stared at us with shining eyes and a big smile. Just then Wallace yelled at us again.
    â€œIt’s great out here, I love it, never enjoyed a rain more in my life!”
    Junior grinned. “W-w-what was the p-p-punishment g-g-gonna b-be?”
    â€œWell, I was going to make your old man join us in singing a nice happy song about all the wonderful things we enjoy about this life. He’s such a grouch, I figgered that would hurt him as bad as anything.”
    â€œY-y-y-yeah, h-he’d h-hate that!”
    I went to the edge of the cave. Old Wallace was out there all humped over and dripping water and grumbling to himself.
    â€œHow’s the weather out there, Wallace?”
    â€œWonderful! I still love it!”
    â€œYou sure you don’t want to come back inside and take your punishment?”
    â€œPuppy, I ain’t never took no . . .”
    At that very moment a bolt of lightning came crashing down and struck a big cottonwood tree right in front of us. Leaves and tree bark went flying in all directions and there was a terrible BOOM!
    Wallace squawked and jumped so high that he landed back inside the cave. “On second thought, a little punishment is good for the soul. What is it you have in mind, dog?”
    â€œWe’re all going to sing a little song.”
    â€œI hate songs!”
    â€œAbout the things we love most in this life.”
    â€œI hate love!”
    â€œAnd you’re going to do a verse, the same as the rest of us.”
    â€œI hate music and I can’t sing!”
    â€œThen get back out there in the rain.”
    â€œOn the other hand, a guy can always try.”
    â€œThat’s better.”
    â€œBut that don’t mean I’ll like it.”
    â€œThat’s fine, you don’t have to like it.”
    â€œGood, because I won’t.”
    I went through the song and showed them how it was done. Then I did the first verse, and when I finished we went around the circle and each of us did a verse. Even Little Alfred did one. The song was called “I Love All Kinds of Stuff,” and here’s how it went.
    Hank:
    I love the septic tank’s
    Emerald waters bank to bank,
    Oh, I love the septic tank,
    It makes my life worthwhile.
    Junior:
    I love pretty girls,
    They make my feathers want to curl,
    Oh! I love pretty girls,
    They make my life worthwhile.
    Alfred:
    I wuv pwaying twucks,
    I wuv my mommy vewy much,
    I wuv her tender touch,
    It makes my wife worffwhile.
    Well, it was Wallace’s turn. We all looked at him and waited for him to come up with a verse. He had his wings folded across his chest and a huge scowl on his face.
    â€œYour turn, Wallace, jump right in there.”
    â€œWhat’s a ‘twuck’? I never heard of a twuck; and Junior, you wouldn’t know what to do with a pretty girl if you found