What the Heart Wants

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Authors: Marie Caron
people? Where are we going?” I asked, directing my questions to the man in front of me, but he continued walking, pulling me along by the rope. I was being led on a tether like an animal being taken to market. I felt humiliated, and my wrists were beginning to chafe. Since they remained silent, I had little else to do but study my six abductors as we walked along. They were much taller than me. One even rivaled John in height, and our scout was one of the tallest men I had ever met. And, like John, they were dressed all in leather, although their trousers, for want of a better word, barely covered them below the waist. I frequently found myself staring at the brown, muscular buttocks of the man directly in front of me, and I had to force myself to look elsewhere. The gleam of his hair caught my eye, and I gladly turned my attention to it instead. His hair was long and straight, and it rippled down his back in undulating blue-black waves as he moved.
    Each man was armed with a rifle or a knife, and I had no doubt they were adept in their use. I assumed these were some of the renegade Indians we’d heard about at the fort, the ones who refused to live on the reservations. So far they hadn’t intentionally hurt me, and for that, I was thankful. In fact, they had given me water to drink, and their general behavior toward me was not overly cruel or hostile. I hated to think what would happen to them if they were caught. I had a feeling my people would show them no mercy for what they had done to me since, to most white people, the only good Indian was a dead one anyway.
    By now it was almost totally dark, and I was tired and hungry. Just as I was about to ask how much farther they intended to take me—not that asking would have done any good—I saw the flickering light of a campfire through the trees. We had finally arrived at the Indian camp. I was immediately led into one of their dwellings, which the people at the fort had called teepees . The teepee was made of animal skins, snugly lashed to long wooden poles arranged in a large circle. The poles met at upper end, creating a conical shape like an upside-down funnel. The point where the poles met was open to the sky, thereby creating a sort of chimney through which the smoke, from the fire burning in the center of the dwelling, could escape. The enclosure was simply made but seemed relatively substantial. I was amazed by its size, which was about twelve feet across. The dirt floor was covered with soft, furry pelts of various animals. I recognized wolf, fox, buffalo, and deer hides among others, and I marveled at the amount of work that must have gone into making just this one teepee. But I had very little time to consider my surroundings, as several native women entered and gathered around me. My hands were untied by one woman while another woman began unfastening my dress and a third began removing my shoes.
    “No! Stop it!” I cried in vain as my clothing was removed. I tried to stop them, but they swooped over me like a swarm of locusts. Outnumbered three to one, I soon found myself completely naked. To my relief I was quickly bathed in cool, clear water before being clothed in a soft deerskin dress similar to the ones they wore. The supple leather covered me from collarbone to midcalf. The sleeves were fringed and ended at my elbows, and the bodice of the dress was decorated with colorful beadwork. Matching boots were laced up my ankles. Other than the lack of any sort of undergarment, I felt quite comfortable in my new clothing. Next, one of the women braided my hair into two long plaits, fastening the ends with leather thongs. While they worked, the women chatted amongst themselves. I wished I could understand them, but all I could do was smile and nod and wonder. Were they discussing the color of my hair or my eyes? My fair skin was sunburned, especially across my nose. Did they talk about how different I looked? They were brown-skinned and had glossy, black

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