Free Love In The Time Of Apps by Jay Begler Page B

reflected in these ratings.”
    “It’s nonsense, I know. These ratings don’t tell anything about what a person is really like.”
    “You mean do they have a soul? Do they cry at movies? Love to walk along the Seine? Eat French fries with mayonnaise? Love libraries? Pray for the Yankees? Thank God for Woody Allen, Bruce Springsteen, British Actors, Broadway shows, kosher delis, and the Isle of Manhattan?”
    “God, Sophie, you’ve just described me.”
    “Funny. I was describing myself,” Without thinking about it, Goodwin put his hand on hers.
    “So Philip, if you had to use criteria what qualities would you choose?”
    It was an interesting question and one that Goodwin had not thought of before. “I don’t know for sure. Do you have any criteria?”
    She held up her iPhone and showed Goodwin an App icon of a heart with a ruler across its center. It was called
True Measure
. “This is the anti-Pragat ratings App. It lists one hundred criteria to truly measure a person’s worth. These are intrinsic characteristics, such as kindness and spirituality. It has some of Pragat’s criteria, but many others. Do you have an iPhone?”
    Goodwin took out his iPhone and in a matter of seconds downloaded the App.
    “Okay, let’s just pick seven that we each think are important and let’s list them in order of importance.”
    Goodwin chose: Empathy, Kindness, Honesty, Optimism, Humbleness, Spirituality, and Sense of Humor.
    “I’m ready. Philip, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” They exchanged iPhones. Their selections and the selections’ order of importance were identical. Goodwin said, “Something important is going on here and I’m not sure what it is.”
    “Maybe we’re soul-mates,” she replied. Though he always thought the notion of soul mates was absolute nonsense, Goodwin found himself thinking that she might be right.
    Sophie, would you like something to eat?”
    “Sure.”
    “What will you have?”
    “I’ll start with the warm fois gras, followed by the Caesar salad, followed by the king-sized prime rib with the mashed potatoes, extra butter, and lots of sour cream. And garlic bread. Yes, let’s have garlic bread. Oh, and let’s order a double creamed spinach. How about closing with a full cheese course with a glass of Chateau Yquem and a soufflé? What do you think?”
    Goodwin was in a state of exhilarated shock. This was something completely new for him, a dining companion that did not ask, no require, him to share an appetizer. Like a wounded puppy, he asked, “You don’t want to share an appetizer?”
    Sophie laughed at the idea, her only response being an incredulous, “Why?”
    Sheila and every woman at his club, which comprised most of the women he knew, always worried about their weight. Goodwin could not remember a time when Sheila ate a complete meal. If she ordered a sandwich, she would eat only half. If she ordered a minute steak she would try to eat 30 seconds worth. If they were at an affair and the host was serving pigs in blankets, she would eat either the pigs or the blankets, but never both. Virtually all of herfriends appeared to have similar eating habits. Thus, when Sheila went out with them, they shared everything. Over a period of time, however, the half portions, a half of a sandwich for example, became the norm. It was not long before they began to split the half portions into quarters. This trend continued with each dish being split into smaller and smaller portions. It reached its logical conclusion when Sheila and three of her friends sat at a booth in a local diner and responded to the “What will you have?” question by answering, “Can the chef divide our order?”
    “Certainly,” the waitress responded.
    “Good, bring us four empty plates. And we’ll take separate checks.”
    “Philip, let me buy the wine. May I suggest the 2002 Jean-Marc Bouley, from Baume Les Reversees? It’s very full, sweet with ripe cherry, blackberry, and spice aromas.