Free Swept Away by Marie Byers Page A

college so far away because it was the first to give him a full ride. He’s smart in that effortless, unimposing way that Michael has but that’s about all they share. Ryan’s jokes are corny and he knows it, smiling brighter and stronger when she rolls her eyes and calls him out. He touches her, constantly, but it’s almost without purpose or sexual intent and she relaxes back into him letting his arm wrap around her waist and his head of shaggy hair affectionately knocking against hers, gently.
    “You have beautiful eyes,” Ryan tells her. The expression on his face is sincere.
    His compliment takes her by surprise, especially since superimposed on top of his voice is Michael’s gentle baritone whispering, “a girl as pretty as you shouldn’t look so sad.”
    Shyly, sadly, she looks down and away. “Thanks.”
    “Do you want to go somewhere quieter? More quiet?” He stumbles over the offer in a rush of breath and an awkward trip up of his tongue over grammar.
    And here’s her moment. This is what she wants right? A memory to cover all the bitter-sweet memories she can’t forget? A moment to wipe away Michael’s touch, the heat of his body moving insider her, sweat-slicked skin pressed against her own?
    Someone else’s mouth or lips or tongue stealing her kisses and turning them into their own?
    It’s what she wants, maybe what she needs.
    Except all she can think is ‘Michael wouldn’t have cared if he was grammatically correct.’
    And now she can’t.
    Ryan’s face falls before she opens her mouth to say anything. It’s like he reads her mind. “It doesn’t have to be like that. I mean I’d like it to be like that, you’re beautiful and easy to talk to and this is the first time all week I haven’t missed home, but it’s okay if you don’t like me like that.”
    He smiles at her hard and takes her hand in his. “You can never have enough friends,” he says.
    She smiles back.
    * * * *
    Soon college life is enough of a distraction in itself. It was different from high school. Kind of almost the direct opposite, here everyone minded their business and the teachers were not interested in your best interests gained through hand-holding and constant reminders about due assignments. It’s almost like they go out of their way to make sure everyone has enough work to keep them out of any type of socialization whatsoever. It’s wonderful. Amber throws herself into her studies. Occasionally coming up for air when Kim or Ryan stops by.
    They’re quickly becoming good friends, which is surprisingly nice. She’s lost her debate friends through the distance not seeing each other nearly every day brings and going to separate schools that are each halfway across the world.
    Then there’s Michael. She doesn’t know how she’d lost him. Really she doesn’t. One moment everything was perfect and in the next he was just gone, slipping through her fingers like water through a sieve and she hadn’t even enough warning to know to hold on.
    She’s lost her best friends.
    Ryan and Kim can’t replace them, any of them, especially not Michael. Still, it’s nice just the same to have people who want to hang out with her, who care if she’s so stressed out she forgets to eat breakfast or lunch or dinner. So when they suggest signing up for the same classes when the time comes Amber gladly agrees.
    Which of course translates to English and History at ungodly hours in the morning. Amber doesn’t complain. Much. It’s nice to feel included again.
    * * * *
    They’re hanging out in Amber and Kim’s common room, all three of them, with Ryan reclining in the couch long legs thrown over the arm and his head in Amber’s lap. Kim is sitting on the ground between them, pretending to pour over their history text, Amber can see the corner of COSMO peeking out.
    “You think you’re only meant for one person in your life and that’s it?”
    See? Completely a COSMO question.
    Ryan shrugs. “You mean like a soul mate