Free A Closed Book by Gilbert Adair Page B

I’ll need you to study the painting and make notes of every detail. You understand? So I can copy it. A bit like an art student installing himself in front of the portrait and painting a copy. Only, in my case, in words.’
    â€˜Yes, I can do that.’
    â€˜Now I think of it, even if you do manage to find a postcard, it’ll still be better if you take some time to study the painting itself. Get a sense of the brushstrokes. It should take no more than half an hour out of your weekend.’
    â€˜Not a problem.’
    â€˜I’d also like – don’t ask – but I’d also like you to see if you could purchase, again in the souvenir shop, a jigsaw puzzle of the Rembrandt.’
    â€˜A jigsaw puzzle?’
    â€˜I know you can buy jigsaw puzzles of some of the paintings in the National’s collection. Holbein’s “Ambassadors” is definitely one. Probably Seurat’s “Bathers”. Oh, and the Crivelli “Annunciation with Saint Emidius”. I seriously doubt there’ll be one of the Rembrandt. Who’d want to do a jigsaw puzzle of a bulbous-nosed old codger in a smock? But will you take a look nevertheless?’
    â€˜Was that the second favour?’
    â€˜No, that’s still the first. The second – well, just in front of the National Gallery there is of course Trafalgar Square. And, as you probably know, there are three statues at three out of its four corners. I mean, apart from Nelson’s Column. At the corners, not in the middle.’
    â€˜Yes, of course. I know those statues. There
are
only three of them, not four, right?’
    â€˜Exactly. Well – and again, don’t ask – but I want you to report back with two pieces of factual data relating to those statues. First, which out of the four is the empty plinth? Is it the top right-hand corner one or else the bottom left-hand –’
    â€˜I think I already know the answer to that. Isn’t it at the top left-hand corner?’
    â€˜I wouldn’t be asking you if I could remember myself. Just double-check it, will you. It’s for a book, not a dinner-partyconversation. It’s got to be absolutely right.’
    â€˜Right.’
    â€˜Second, who are the other statues of? The three names. One of them, I’m fairly sure, is George IV. The others, if I ever knew who they were, I no longer remember. And again, of course, who’s actually standing on which plinth?’
    â€˜That’s all?’
    â€˜That’s it. You see, it would take just one trip to Trafalgar Square. But, as I said before, only if it won’t spoil your weekend.’
    â€˜No, no. I’m going to be around and about anyway. And it’ll be good for me. I haven’t been to the National Gallery in years.’
    â€˜Then when shall I see you?’
    â€˜Well, I expect to leave just after breakfast tomorrow and return Sunday evening or first thing Monday morning. That okay?’
    â€˜That’s perfect. Because I’ll want you to help me make a phone call Monday morning. I’d like to ring up my agent.’
    â€˜No problem. I’ll most likely get back on Sunday evening. But very late. Don’t wait up for me. I’ll let myself in.’
    â€˜Yes, all right.’
    â€˜There’s one other thing, Paul.’
    â€˜Yes?’
    â€˜You think I might have a cheque before I go?’
    â€˜A cheque?’
    â€˜Well, yes.’
    â€˜But I thought we agreed that, at least to start with, you wouldn’t be paid in advance? Not till we were both quite sure of each other?’
    â€˜For the computer. You haven’t paid me for the computer yet.’
    â€˜The computer? Haven’t I? Good Lord, you’re right. I’ve been so engrossed in the book I completely forgot the computer. Oh dear, how very remiss of me. Of course I’ll give you a cheque, I’ll give it to you right now, if you like. But will you be able to