Free Abuse of Chikara (book 1) by Stanley Cowens Page B

those cheeks up with a broom stick and fucking them.”
    “I’m sorry I asked now Miguel.”
    “Hey, you asked amigo, but forget that and just concentrate on being ready.”
    With that Miguel walks off to talk to some of the prison guards and Nick sits back down to finish eating. Might as well get his strength up for whatever comes next.
    Red and a number of police officers are off-duty eating at an Indian food restaurant on Chicago and Orleans. Usually they sit around telling stories and seeing who has the best one. Red usually goes first and almost always has the best story to tell.
    “Okay guys, I’m driving around Madison and Canal by Union Station when some chick flags me down. She says these two young Asian guys robbed a cab driver and ran into the Union Station building. I went in and beat the snot out of those motherfuckers and arrested them.”
    “What did you do to them exactly?” asked Garcia. He usually asked questions during the stories to move them along.
    “Man, I had them both handcuffed in the bathroom building and pistol whipped the shit out of them. After I got through pistol-whipping those motherfuckers, I pissed in the toilet and laughed as I put those motherfuckers’ faces in the toilet. I drank a lot of Kool-Aid so I hope they enjoyed it.”
    “Did you recover the money they stole?”
    “Man, Garcia, I recovered that shit in my pocket.”
    “That’s a good one, Red, I see why they call you dirty. Can anybody beat Red’s story?”
    “Hey wait, look, some brothers are out there about to throw down. Looks like some type of gang fight, maybe 15 guys from what I see. Maybe we should do something?”
    “What do you want to do Red?”
    “Fuck that shit Carl, I come here to unwind, not stop some brothers from kicking each others asses. As a matter of fact, this might be some good entertainment. Let those motherfuckers duke it out I say.”
    “Okay go ahead Psycho, regale us with your tale of action and courage.”
    “Okay, sure thing, Red, my man. Me and my friend Josh were cruising around and drove past this farm. We decided to have some fun and went into one of the barns. Some guys were in that motherfucker making drugs, real small-time operation to be honest. I identified myself as a police officer and gave them an ultimatum. Hook us up with some of that shit or go to jail. Shit, we spent all day getting high and went out and fucked a cow until it passed out on the ground.”
    “How the hell do you stop the cow from moving, dude?”
    “You place a cart in front and one in back because a cow can’t move sideways, only forward and back. We fucked cows, horses and some sheep.”
    Garcia listens to a few more stories and gets up to give his judgment as to who is the winner. He stands and waves his arms emphatically to quiet everyone down.
    “Okay, ladies and gentlemen, all the stories were interesting, but nothing beats getting high and fucking farm animals.”
    Psycho takes a bow and thanks all his adoring fans. They get together like this once a month and tell their stories of crazy interactions with the general public. The winner gets money, material items, or the services of a prostitute. The prizes usually change from month to month, depending on what Garcia picked. Red has business to take care of and gets up to leave.
    “Okay guys, this has been fun, but I got things to do.” A number of officers say their good-byes to Red as he walks out the restaurant. Everyone starts to say their good- byes and depart, shaking hands and giving manly hugs. The 20 officers head home, or to various other destinations to tend to their daily business half drunk or high from their festivities. As he drives home, Red hopes that everything went okay with getting the producer out of jail. It was a pretty good plan and the guys working the plan were reliable. However, lady chance could always foul things up at any moment.
    Nick the producer is sitting in the prison transport vehicle. These things were