me⦠So, yes, the smile of recognition, all the associations coming back: the first time they saw the play; the first time they read the book. Peter and Wendy. Neverland. Captain Hook. Tinkerbell⦠But a second after those happy memories comes that look of confusion and doubt, and then this in their eyes: âBut how can you be Peter Pan?You? The Boy Who Never Grew Up? Thatâs not you. You have egg on your collar. You canât fly. Youâre not Alice. Alice was a little blond girl, I know she was. Youâre lying to me.â And then they remember . What growing up really is : when they learned that boys canât fly and mermaids donât exist and White Rabbits donât talk and all boys grow old, even Peter Pan, as youâve grown old. Theyâve been deceived . As if youâve somehow been lying to them. So following hard on the smile of remembrance is the pain in the eyes, which youâve caused, every time you meet someone.
ALICE : How can you say itâs a lie? Theyâre just stories.
PETER : As a publisher Iâve an obligation to tell the truth.
ALICE : You talk like a very young man, and callow. The truth isnât a mathematical equation that always works out to the precise sum. Itâs variable. Itâs mutable. Lord, the longer I live the more I know thereâs no such thing as certainty ! There are only passing moments, and I savor the ones that bring me some damn comfort in a cold house. If itâs a lie, why does it keep me warm?
PETER : It doesnât and it canât.
ALICE : Youâre presumptuous again.
PETER : Iâm sorry.
ALICE : Youâre not at all. You think youâre being clever: âNo one gets the better of me. I see the world as it really is. Iâm a marvelous honest fellow. Pity the poor old lady living in her memories of things that never happened.â Youâre so young. You are the Boy Who Never Grew Up!
PETER : Believe me; the one thing I thoroughly know is growing up !
ALICE : Then tell me.
PETER : What?
ALICE : What is âgrowing upâ precisely?
PETER : Well, I supposeâ¦
ALICE : Specifically.
PETER : I donât know that I can â
ALICE : Itâs the one thing you âthoroughly know.â
PETER : Well, itâs complicated â
ALICE : Is it?
PETER : I wouldnât know where to start â
ALICE : Was it the day you realized your parents arenât perfect? When you got your first long trousers? Going to school? Saying hello? Saying goodbye? Your heart opens? It breaks? It heals? It breaks again? Which is it?
PETER : When you realize what life is.
ALICE : Too vague. Youâre after the truth , arenât you? Being a publisher and all?
He looks at her. She is like iron staring back at him .
He reorients himself in the room .
PETER : Do you think back on your life?
ALICE : As rarely as possible.
PETER : Will you try?
ALICE : Why should I?
PETER : To help me understand. We can swap a truth for a truth.
ALICE : Iâm not sure I trust youâ¦
PETER : Who but me? Peter and Alice.
Suddenly, a manâs voice is heard:
CARROLL : (Offstage.) Alice ! ⦠Alice ! Where have you gone?
ALICE is utterly shocked at this voice from her past .
CARROLL : (Offstage.) Are you hiding, Queen Alice?
PETER : Yes, of course thatâs how it begins: a harmless fairy tale to pass the hoursâ¦
The bookstore disappears around ALICE and PETER .
Weâre in their minds and memories now .
LEWIS CARROLL sidles up to ALICE . Heâs slanted, awkward, partly deaf and painfully shy .
CARROLL : I canât do it without you, my lady. What am I without you? But then, what are you without me ? ⦠Take my hand.
He offers his hand .
CARROLL : Be young again.
PETER : Who wouldnât want that?
CARROLL : Be young forever.
PETER : He offers your heartâs desire.
ALICE : Stop the clocks. Turn down the lights. In the glass, the wrinkles fade away. The skin is
Catherine E. Burns, Beth Richardson, Cpnp Rn Dns Beth Richardson, Margaret Brady