Free Promise Me Forever by Lorraine Heath Page A

road he’d traveled to his success. She didn’t know what other men thought of him. Had he earned their respect, their loyalty? Would they follow him wherever he led?
    And what women had found their way into his heart over the years?
    She’d entertained the notion of marrying Kimburton, had enjoyed his attentions. Surely at least one woman had gained Tom’s favor. The pang of envy brought on by the thought was almost morethan she could bear. To know his kiss, to know his touch, to know his body.
    She’d once thought she’d be willing to trade her soul for the privilege. But trading her soul meant trading her dreams.
    His place, his home was now and would forever be in England.
    She broke off from the kiss, her knees so weak she could barely stand. His breaths were coming as rapid and harsh as hers. She was confused, lost, unsure of her feelings. She’d adopted anger at him to survive his not writing, and yet he’d written. She’d come to hate him, and now she realized the emotion was unjustified. And yet its remnants lingered, not entirely wiped away by the truth. How did she discard ten years of believing he’d abandoned her? Simply because he had not inflicted the wound didn’t mean that it wasn’t still there and scarred. Everything she’d believed, understood, accepted was suddenly unraveling just as he’d said his life was.
    “Where does this new discovery leave us?” he asked quietly.
    “I honestly don’t know, Tom. What I’ve known all these years…what I’ve felt…I hardly know how to rearrange what I’ve understood to be the truth. I’m overwhelmed. I need time to sort through so very much.”
    He nodded, as though he’d known the answer before she’d spoken it. Or perhaps he simply understood better than she what it was to discover the truth of one’s life had been a lie.
    “I think it best if I don’t stay for dinner,” he said, his voice sounding like sand rubbed over rock. “Extend my regrets to your family. I’ll show myself out.”
    Her heart urged her to call out to him, to stop him, but shattered promises kept her mute while the echo of his bootheels faded as her memories never had.
     
    Long after Tom left, Lauren sat on the stone bench in the garden, surrounded by the roses that her mother loved to nurture. This small corner was her mother’s one indulgence, her one reminder of the farm life she’d left behind—to work in the garden, rooting around in the soil where the roses grew. Gardeners tended the vast majority of the property, but this one perfect spot was her mother’s realm. Lauren had spent many an hour sitting there, finding solace in the beauty her mother created, drawing comfort from the poignant fragrance surrounding her. She would miss this small corner of England when she left, but she still needed to leave and quickly, before she was trapped into once again staying.
    Tears burned her eyes. She’d not expected to miss anything about the horrid place. She’d hated it before she’d ever arrived, because it had taken her away from everything that she loved, from somany people she cared about. It had taken her away from Tom. Tom who had promised to come for her…
    And was there finally only because England had called him to come.
    She couldn’t deny that a part of her was glad to have seen him, to know he was safe and well. A part of her had even considered accepting his ludicrous proposition to teach him, not so much to get out of unbuttoning her bodice, but simply to have the opportunity to spend a bit of time with him. But she had to protect her heart. It was too vulnerable. She didn’t want to place herself in the position of having to leave him again—and she quite simply didn’t think she could stay there much longer without losing the final vestiges of herself.
    Oh, she had adapted and adjusted and played the role of an aristocrat’s stepdaughter, but she’d never felt that she’d shown her true self to these people. She’d wanted to be