Free Taboo Kisses by Helena Harker Page B

this through .
    Oh God. His voice was so clear. I lost my footing and grabbed on to a rack of pantyhose. Ryder took hold of my arm.
    “Clumsy me,” I muttered.
    “Are you sure you’re okay?” The same concerned expression crossed his face. “Mom told me you’re still distracted, still thinking about…the accident.”
    “I am.” There. I admitted it. After a year, most women would have started to heal. Not me. And I never would. Because I didn’t deserve it. “Flashbacks. They won’t go away.” Did he understand? Or did I sound totally off-kilter?
    Ryder paused and licked his lips. He ran his fingers through his already messed up hair.
    “I don’t know what to say to make it better.” Ryder’s hand slid down my bare arm. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen. Just listen. It’s like something’s festering inside you.”
    And it’s poisoning what’s left of my soul .
    “I remember when Maddox told me you were worried about my past. He said I better be good to Gemma, or else I’d have to answer to you. You were the tiger in the family, and he was the easygoing one.”
    Ryder’s worried expression nudged a smile out of me. “Yeah, Maddox was the sweet one. He tweezed splinters from my finger, got all my flowerbeds ready for planting, because I love flowers, but I hate getting dirt under my fingernails. I was the voice of authority.”
    “Gemma kinda mentioned that.” He said it knowingly, with a nod, it as if he knew a whole lot more of my secrets.
    The things Gemma must have told him! I bit my lip, and heat rushed to my cheeks.
    “Do I put this away?” He held up the shimmering satin underwear. “Or on layaway if you prefer?”
    “No. I’ll take you up on your offer.” Maddox, please understand . I waited for an answer. None came.
    “When you dropped Gemma off after your first date, Maddox and I were watching from the window.”
    Ryder’s jaw dropped into a shocked uh-oh . I smiled at the memory. He’d wrapped one arm around her waist—no groping—and tenderly tipped her chin until their lips met. Behind me, Maddox had peered intently through the curtains and pressed his body against mine.
    “You kissed her like the hero in a romance novel,” I said.
    At the word kiss , Ryder’s gaze intensified. His pupils widened, and our eyes locked. I knew exactly what he was thinking. Well, I knew what I was thinking, anyway.
    Last year. I had been lounging by our in-ground pool with a vodka cooler, still in my bikini. It must have been about nine, and the sun was sinking into the clouds, painting them shades of amber, tangerine, and a mesmerizing purple. As usual, Gemma couldn’t decide which outfit to wear, so Ryder joined me out back. Flustered that I couldn’t find my wrap, I got up, aware that I was almost naked, and he was devouring me with his eyes. He glanced at the window—no one could see us from this vantage point—and took two quick steps toward me.
    He placed one hand on my waist. My bare skin quivered. He waited a few seconds, maybe to see if I’d pull away, and cupped my chin. “You’re the one I want,” he whispered before his mouth closed over mine, tentative, searching, experimenting. And I didn’t slip away. I yielded. His touch was intoxicating, and as his fingers trailed down my back, we kissed under the purple sky.
    I came to my senses and pulled back with a gasp. “This is wrong.”
    Spinning on my heel, I hurried to the house I’d shared with Maddox for the past nineteen years, the house where we’d raised Gemma. Together. When we’d gotten married, I could only think of three words: happily ever after.
    How could I let a twenty-year-old threaten a lifetime of passion and commitment?
    Because as much as I loved Maddox, there was something about the touch of someone new, the intensity of it, where you became drunk on each other’s presence, on a word, or a glance. Ryder set fire to my blood. This was infatuation. And I had to make it go away. I shook myself