Free A Village Feud by Rebecca Shaw Page A

take him in, he chose me. Funny, that was. Can’t get over it really. Remember I thought he was a ghost?’
    ‘I do. Gave me a terrible shock he did. Under this ’ere settle and looking so like your old Sykes. Terrible, it was. But he’s been a good friend to you.’
    Jimmy nodded towards the huge fireplace. ‘See that Andy whatsit over there by the fire? Funny chap. Gave him a lift home the other night in me taxi, car broken down he said. But what’s he doing wandering about Culworth that time in the morning? There’s more to him than meets the eye.’
    Sylvia nodded ‘She’s nice, though. This beauty business might be a step too far perhaps. Might give her a try. I’ll hold my opinion on ’em both till I know ’em better.’
    ‘You might be right. Thanks for this, Willie. Now, what’s your opinion about the cricket? Do we have a chance?’
    Jenny put her brand-new advertising board out by their front door around lunchtime just as Grandmama Charter-Plackett was approaching the Rectory. Knowing about Jenny’s proposal to begin a business, she took her opportunity to make her feelings known.
    ‘Hello, there. What’s this you’re putting out?’
    ‘Hello. My new board. I’m starting up in business.’
    ‘As a masseuse?’
    ‘Yes. As well as other things. I do,’ she began counting her skills off on her fingers, ‘reflexology, aromatherapy, massage, sports injury treatments, hairdressing, manicures, pedicures. You name it, if it’s beauty or designed to make you feel good about yourself, then I’m qualified to do it.’ She smiled triumphantly.
    Grandmama was determined to take the wind out of her sails, as she said later to Harriet over their afternoon cup of tea. ‘How could anyone genuinely be qualified to do all those things? So I said, “Jack of all trades and master of none.” Of course it was lost on her, her having a brain no bigger than a pea. I told her over my dead body was she starting up. Of course it turned out she hasn’t got council permission, which I imagine she needs to set up in business in a conservation area such as ours.’
    ‘I expect she does. But does it matter? I’m sure there are more heinous crimes than putting a board out and hoping for the best.’
    ‘If she makes a go of it, and I understand she’s doing a leaflet drop in Culworth, we’ll have cars nose to tail round the Green. It’s simply not on.’
    Harriet inquired gently if she’d done anything about it.
    ‘Not yet. I’m planning my strategy at the moment. We’ll be having a chiropody clinic and osteopathy and heaven knows what within two years. It’s got to stop.’
    ‘What’s wrong with extra life and extra money coming into the village? It’s progress, that’s all.’
    ‘Progress, my eye! What’s more, I thoroughly dislike the man.’ Grandmama waved an arm vaguely about. ‘That whatsit, whatever his name is, he’s up to no good.’
    Harriet protested, ‘You don’t know the man. How can you assume he’s up to no good?’
    ‘He’s shifty and what’s more he’s taken a dislike to Jimbo.’
    ‘What makes you say that?’
    ‘Instinct,’ Grandmama admitted. ‘How could anyone dislike Jimbo? He’s harmless, isn’t he?’
    ‘He can be stroppy. Look how many times he sacked Linda from the Post Office.’
    ‘Look how many times he took her back. Very forgiving, is my son.’
    Harriet had to smile. ‘You’re right there. However, tread carefully. We don’t want a massive upset in the village when Peter’s not here.’
    ‘Bless that dear man. Not even he could like that Andy. No, not even he.’
    She placed her cup and saucer on the low table by her side and showed all the signs of settling down to sleep. So Harriet cleared the tea things, flung them in the dishwasher and began to make a lemon meringue pie as she’d promised Fran she would.
    The flap of the letterbox snapped shut so Harriet went to see what had arrived. There was a flyer about Cottage Beauty and an envelope