Free Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) by Ellie R Hunter Page A

the door open. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the bed, the last place I held her, kissed her, spoke to her. The last place she was alive.
    I barely noticed Ava moving beside me, I didn’t dare go in the room any further. The swelling ache in my chest was returning rapidly.
    “Rose must have started packing up after all,” she muttered.
    “What do you mean?”
    “There is hardly anything in here” she said waving her hand around.
    “This was exactly how she kept her room when she was alive, she couldn’t sleep when it was cluttered” I explained.
    “Oh” She returned her attention back to the room, “What is in there?”
    “That, was her wardrobe. Open the doors”
    “Oh my god,” she gasped looking at al l of Jas’s belongings.
    I couldn’t appreciate it the same way Ava could, I made my excuses and left the room. I walked to what used to be her office.
    I sat on the sofa and closed my eyes. I wanted to tell Ava everything she wanted to know, show her if I could but it hurt, the pain of opening up was excruciating.
    “We can go now if you like?” she said from the doorway.
    “I’m sorry, her bedroom brings back some of the worst memories I have of her”
    “Why don’t you tell me about them, it might help?” she offered.
    “I’m not sure you would want to hear them”
    “I can always ask you to stop,” she continued.
    “Okay. It was in her room where she was at her worst and at the end it was where she…died. Laying in my arms”
    A tear fell before I could wipe it away, she moved closer and held my hand.
    “I don’t know which is worse, knowing her and grieving or not knowing her and grieving” she said quietly.
    I wiped my face and stood quickly.
    “Why don’t I get you back to my mums, it has been a long day for both of us”
    And I need a stiff drink or two, although I didn’t tell her that part. With Jasmine ’s letter to read I would probably need the bottle. I wanted to read it straight away but I forced myself not to open it.
    It didn’t take long to drop Ava off and drive home. She must have felt I had cut her off, but I couldn’t help it. I was back to three years ago, my grief felt fresh, I can’t be around Ava now.
    I unlocked the door and went straight to living room, walking through the darkness I felt numb. I turned the lamp on and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the side. I sat on the sofa and ripped open the letter.
     
    To my Christopher,
     
    If I thought writing my first letter to you was hard, this is so much worse. If you are reading this then you now know about Ava , our daughter. I know you will want answers, I will be completely honest and try to explain everything.
    When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. As you know I couldn’t turn to my mother for help and I was too embarrassed to tell you I was pregnant. At the time I thought you would be angry with me, I was worried about myself and about what would happen.
    I didn’t want to take the risk that you wouldn’t believe she was yours, added with I had nothing to offer her apart from growing up around my drunken mother. I didn’t want that for our child.
    Once Jasmine Enterprises was established I contacted my lawyer to try and regain responsibility over Ava but I had lost all rights when I gave her up for adoption.
    The best I could hope for was that she would want to find me when she was old enough. But, you know me, I couldn’t rest until I saw for myself she was safe and well. I used my money to hire one of the best private investigators to find her. For five years I saw her grow, knew her school grades and saw how happy she was from photographs and reports. If I thought for one second she was in harm’s way I would have got her back somehow.
    I’m sorry for not telling you the truth once we were together, it is true what they say – I could never find the right time, I have already bought you nothing but pain, there was no point in adding to it when you couldn’t meet her.
    As I