Free City of Spies by Nina Berry Page B

Nicky?”
    â€œAh,” Mercedes said in a tone that said, So that’s what this is about . “What does it matter? He said no monkey business during this trip.”
    â€œHe knows everything else. Why wouldn’t he know that?” Pagan’s heart was made of lead. “Maybe that’s really why he said no monkey business.”
    â€œYou think Devin’s the same kind of guy as Tango Tony?”
    A small laugh escaped Pagan in spite of herself. “Yeah, no. They’re nothing alike.”
    â€œYour past is nobody’s business but yours,” Mercedes said.
    â€œWhat about your past?” Pagan glanced over at her friend. “Is that none of my business?”
    Mercedes wrinkled her nose, suddenly a little shy. “What do you want to know?”
    â€œHave you ever...?” Pagan didn’t know how to say it. She and Mercedes had shared their worst deeds and fears during their months as roommates in reform school. But M had never talked about a boyfriend, or dating, or any kind of romantic interest. “Did you ever get really serious with a boy?”
    Mercedes took her time, the way she did, pondering the question, as Pagan’s heart beat hard and fast, hoping she hadn’t offended her. “I thought about it,” Mercedes said, her eyes screwed up tight, like she was wincing. “I had a few chances. Cute boys, too.”
    â€œBut you had more self-control than I did.” Pagan tried not to feel disappointed that she was the only one with a stained reputation. “Figures. You weren’t a drunk.”
    â€œNo, I just didn’t want to.” She looked over at Pagan as if she’d said something dirty or wrong.
    Pagan bumped her shoulder into her friend’s. “Very funny.”
    â€œNo, it’s true. So...” She swallowed hard and seemed to force herself to keep talking. “I went to a bar where women go to meet women. To see if that’s what I wanted.”
    Pagan stopped in her tracks. Mercedes glanced back, but she kept walking. Her cheeks were pink. Was she actually blushing? Pagan hustled to catch up. “Was it?”
    Mercedes shook her head, staring down at her feet as she walked. “Nope. Girls are nice and pretty and all, but I didn’t feel a thing.”
    â€œBut then...” Pagan didn’t know where to go from here. “You probably haven’t found the right person.”
    â€œMaybe.” Mercedes frowned. She actually looked worried. “So far no one’s tempted me. All I want to do is read the next issue of Fantastic Four and study astrophysics.”
    â€œSo—you don’t want to get married? Have children?” Pagan was trying to wrap her head around this.
    â€œIt just never occurred to me. Do you?” Mercedes asked.
    â€œOf course!” Pagan said automatically, then thought more. “But I’m not sure why.”
    â€œEverybody says that’s what makes women happy,” Mercedes said. Her voice was unusually uncertain for her. “So if I don’t want it, what does that make me?”
    Pagan frowned. “You’re still a girl! You’re still a woman. What else would you be?”
    Mercedes said nothing, staring fixedly off into the distance. A couple of young men lounging in a doorway pursed their lips and made kissing noises at them as they walked past. Pagan resisted the urge to throw them a rude gesture.
    â€œWell, nobody’s going to want to marry me, so we can be spinster old ladies together,” she said.
    Mercedes thought that over as they passed a shop filled with colorful glass bottles, and another selling shiny leather goods.
    Mercedes glanced over her shoulder, then back at Pagan, her expression softening. “As long as I do the cooking.”
    Pagan laughed. “Deal.”
    Mercedes squinted at her thoughtfully. “Except, you like kids.”
    Kids. Ava. Her little sister, dead for more than a year now.
    How