The Umbrella Man and Other Stories

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Authors: Roald Dahl
white façades were cracked and blotchy from neglect.
    Suddenly, in a downstairs window that was brilliantly illuminated by a street lamp not six yards away, Billy caught sight of a printed notice propped up against the glass in one of the upper panes. It said BED AND BREAKFAST . There was a vase of pussy willows, tall and beautiful, standing just underneath the notice.
    He stopped walking. He moved a bit closer. Green curtains (some sort of velvety material) were hanging down on either side of the window. The pussy willows looked wonderful beside them. He went right up and peered through the glass into the room, and the first thing he saw was a bright fire burning in the hearth. On the carpet in front of the fire, a pretty little dachshund was curled up asleep with its nose tucked into its belly. The room itself, so far as he could see in the half-darkness, was filled with pleasant furniture.There was a baby-grand piano and a big sofa and several plump armchairs; and in one corner he spotted a large parrot in a cage. Animals were usually a good sign in a place like this, Billy told himself; and all in all, it looked to him as though it would be a pretty decent house to stay in. Certainly it would be more comfortable than The Bell and Dragon.
    On the other hand, a pub would be more congenial than a boardinghouse. There would be beer and darts in the evenings, and lots of people to talk to, and it would probably be a good bit cheaper, too. He had stayed a couple of nights in a pub once before and he had liked it. He had never stayed in any boardinghouses, and, to be perfectly honest, he was a tiny bit frightened of them. The name itself conjured up images of watery cabbage, rapacious landladies, and a powerful smell of kippers in the living room.
    After dithering about like this in the cold for two or three minutes, Billy decided that he would walk on and take a look at The Bell and Dragon before making up his mind. He turned to go.
    And now a queer thing happened to him. He was in the act of stepping back and turning away from the window when all at once his eye was caught and held in the most peculiar manner by the small notice that was there. BED AND BREAKFAST , it said. BED AND BREAKFAST, BED AND BREAKFAST, BED AND BREAKFAST . Each word was like a large black eye staring at him through the glass, holding him, compelling him, forcing him to stay where he was and not to walk away from that house, and the next thing he knew, he was actually moving across from the window to the front door of the house, climbing the steps that led up to it, and reaching for the bell.
    He pressed the bell. Far away in a back room he heard it ringing, and then
at once
—it must have been at once because he hadn’t even had time to take his finger from the bell button—the door swung open and a woman was standing there.
    Normally you ring the bell and you have at least a half-minute’s wait before the door opens. But this dame was like a jack-in-the-box. He pressed the bell—and out she popped! It made him jump.
    She was about forty-five or fifty years old, and the moment she saw him, she gave him a warm welcoming smile.
    “
Please
come in,” she said pleasantly. She stepped aside, holding the door wide open, and Billy found himself automatically starting forward into the house. The compulsion or, more accurately, the desire to follow after her into that house was extraordinarily strong.
    “I saw the notice in the window,” he said, holding himself back.
    “Yes, I know.”
    “I was wondering about a room.”
    “It’s
all
ready for you, my dear,” she said. She had a round pink face and very gentle blue eyes.
    “I was on my way to The Bell and Dragon,” Billy told her. “But the notice in your window just happened to catch my eye.”
    “My dear boy,” she said, “why don’t you come in out of the cold?”
    “How much do you charge?”
    “Five and sixpence a night, including breakfast.”
    It was fantastically cheap. It was

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