Free Make Me (The Club #17) by Cathleen Ross, The Club Book Series Page B

have rich, dark eyes but there was something sad about their expression.
    "Hi honey. Hi Ryan," called Lucy Mak, Jet's wife, as she came toward them a tea towel in her hand. "I'm glad you've both come on time. Jet, the goods I need you to take to The Club are in the storeroom at the back."
    The two men turned and strode toward her. Ryan looked over his shoulder at Cari, his gaze burning bright. He lifted his hand and gave her a smile before following his cousin out of the room.
    "I can't go out with him," Cari exclaimed. He was everything she wasn't. Calm, engaging and warm. It would be embarrassing if she sat there frozen, too nervous to speak.
    Annabel took money out and slapped it on the table for the two coffees. "Go or I'll ask Ryan to kidnap you to get you out of the house. It's either that or go and see a therapist."
    "A therapist can't take my grief away." It had morphed into a monster of nerves that seemed to control her every move.
    "I mean it, Cari. You haven't been yourself for some time. Change your routine. Date this hot guy. Do something. Apart from myself, you're the one person I love most in the world and this can't go on." She looked at her watch. "I have to run. I have a fitting to attend."
    "Annabel," Cari wailed.
    "Cari, I don't mean to sound heartless but it's time to move on. You won't date and it worries me. You're twenty-five. You've had one serious relationship in your life but Rob has passed away and he's not coming back. It's time. Besides, I know and trust Ryan." A funny smile came to her face. "He's dominating like me."
    "Just a bit?" Cari rolled her eyes and smiled. "You're the bossiest twin I know."
    "That's because I'm the oldest."
    "By two minutes."
    Annabel's face became serious. "Look Cari, Ryan's not a player. I'd trust him with my life, so I'd trust him with yours and you know I don't say that lightly. I'm really worried about you. I've never seen you so adrift. Either date Ryan or I'm booking an appointment with a therapist." She got out of the booth and gave Cari a kiss on the cheek and left before she could reply.
     
    With her twin gone and a nice warm coffee in hand Cari opened her diary to a fresh page. Her nerves were razor-edged and she needed to calm down. Writing was the only thing that relieved her of the anxiety that had hit her when Rob had died, so she turned to a fresh page. The damned paper came free from the spine. The whole thing was ruptured from Annabel's rough handling and her own overuse. Unless she bound it up with tape, her beloved diary would disintegrate. A job for home. Right now she needed to get her thoughts down to calm her nerves. She picked up her pen.
    Ryan. I wonder how it feels to be touched by you? To be caressed and stroked? I want to know you but I never will. I'm too afraid to start again.
    I lead at work but that's not what I want in my private life. I want you to be the leader, to take control of me, to allow me to bloom. I want you to come to my house put your hands over my mouth and bind me with your strength so I can't protest. I want to play out every fantasy I've ever had.
    I need to escape this mental cage that has confined me but I'll also fight to stay in it. I feel my late fiance took my soul when he died but I want to claw it back before I wither away like a spent autumn leaf.
    I need you to hold me to you with your strength and dominance and I want you to care. I want to savor your control of me even if that means you have to blindfold me, tie my hands behind my back and touch me all over so I learn to feel again. Unless I am forced, I can't find the will to start.
    I want to quiver under you, to be bound to you, heart to heart, and that is the way I'll find freedom.
    Cari.
     
    Ryan helped Jet load the platters of food Lucy had prepared for The Club into the SUV. Lucy was a great cook. He saw the way Jet looked at his wife and something twinged inside. He wanted what they had. Jet was right about him. He didn't want to play around at The