Free Starlet's Web (The Starlet Series, #1) by Carla Hanna Page A

scene. I was a child actor so the director had to be very careful with what was shown, he could not exploit me in any way: no nudity could be shown and no sexual act. With Mom’s permission, he decided to shoot the rape scene in its intensity and then edit as necessary. There was a lot of tension on the set that day between the Screen Actors Guild representative and the director. My lawyer, Martin, was there talking to the SAG gal and had me sign some papers with Mom that morning before the shoot. Everyone on the set knew the director was walking a fine line with a child actor but trusted his judgment. I just went with the flow. I didn’t think it was a big deal and wanted the SAG lady to just go away.
    The actor who played the rapist, the gorgeous TV veteran Rex Huxley, was 40—Dad’s age at the time. During the original filming, the two of us had little dialogue or interaction in the scenes that set up the abduction. The scenes show Rex as a stalker asking me a question or two in different settings.  As if the rapist was watching me intently, the camera focused on my face or on my neck and chest as I breathed or on my thigh while I sat on a swing, played in the park, teased boys, and laughed with friends. I never even talked with Rex off set.
    On the set for the added rape scene, Mom prepared me. I would never be naked. Rex would cut my panties but I would never be exposed. Rex would kiss me but there would, of course, be no physical sexual contact. There would be multiple cameras going at once from different angles so that we’d do as few takes as possible. The primary camera would be to the right of the bed. I needed to remember not to block the shot.
    I read the non-verbal script. My hands are bound to the bed frame, the rapist kisses me, I struggle, he cuts the thigh seam of my underwear with a knife and pulls up my sundress, he moves on top of me, director cut.
    I met Rex and he asked me if there was anything he could do if I felt nervous. No. I was fine.
    And then we started the scene. With over twenty people around me, including Mom, I had my first kiss with a man as old as Dad. His lips were fervently on mine. I felt a rush of heat and desire excited my body. I froze and gaped at him, shocked that I wanted to kiss him. I blushed, completely embarrassed, and then moved my face to the primary camera’s side and to the other side and back to the camera’s side, trying to keep my lips away from his, trying to get away from his face. “Yuck. Gross,” I thought. Then I felt a deep tingling sensation everywhere as he touched my body.  I squirmed, kicked, and screamed, “Get off of me, get off!” 
    He cut my panties off at my left hip seam, my pelvis throbbed with desire, and then he cut the panties at the right hip seam, and placed the knife next to the primary camera’s side of the pillow while he carefully rolled on me to hide my skin from the cameras. I kicked my knees up trying to get him off of me. I felt his body on top of me and his hands under my dress on my skin moving up too close to my breasts. I was on fire. This time I really tried to get him off but couldn’t even move under the pressure of his body with my hands bound, and I froze again staring at him with absolute hatred in my eyes. Cut.
    Rex immediately got off me and pulled down my dress to cover me up. He stared back at me for a moment and tenderly said, “So sorry.” We waited in position for the director to review the take.
    He knew. I knew. I wasn’t really acting. I really wanted the bastard to get off me. But only we knew those were my real feelings.
    The director and crew were clapping. It was a wrap on the first take. Someone was untying my wrists. I was applauded for my outstanding acting. I could feel the relief from every adult in there worried that they had crossed a line. The emotions I expressed on camera seemed so real, so genuine. It was perfectly executed.
    Mom came