Free HIM by Brittney Cohen-Schlesinger Page A

to ever call me that.  But I liked the way Jensen said it more so than her.  It sounded better coming from his voice – so silky and inhuman.
                  “Ava…why are you so timid in front of me at times?  It’s as if you’re afraid I’ll abandon you suddenly.”
    Well if he isn’t an observant fellow . . . .
                  “I’m not going anywhere,” he added.  “So please don’t worry about that.  If anything I’m worried about you leaving me ,” he sighed.
    That caught my attention.  “Why?”
    “Have you seen yourself?” he chuckled.
    “Yeah.”
    “ And …?”
    “And what?”
    “Do you not notice how unbelievably amazing you are?  Avalon, your charm and charisma mixed with your striking good looks and intelligence is so compelling to all of the Plain Jane’s out there.”
    “Are you comparing me to a Plain Jane?” I asked skeptically, amused.
    “Yes.”
    I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement.  “I can’t believe you just said that.  You are the one I have to worry about regarding all that…and more.”
    He snickered.  “Ava, I’m less than what you think I am, trust me.”
    I couldn’t believe my ears.  Did he just say he was less than what he was?
    “Jensen, you are the most extraordinary man I’ve ever met.  And that’s an understatement.”
    Jensen bit his bottom lip.  “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
                  “I don’t?”  I looked him in the eyes without any fear.  “Tell me I’m lying to you.”
                  “I’m not saying you’re lying,” he said in defense.  “I’m only admitting I don’t believe what you say is true.”
                  “That makes two of us.”
                  “Why do you doubt yourself so much?” he asked timidly.  He caught me off guard with that one.  “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “that was unacceptable.  You don’t have to answer.”  His eyes looked as if they’d been defeated – like he’d lost a war he knew he’d never win.
                  “Because of what happened to me last year…I guess I don’t think I can do anything anymore.”  I thought for a moment.  “ Be anything anymore,” I added softly.  My eyes focused on a small little girl holding hands with her father about forty feet away.
                  “You can .”
    I chuckled.  “ Sure I can ,” heavy sarcasm oozing from every word.
                  “I don’t believe you’re a negative person, Ava.  You’ve just…lost faith.”
                  “I haven’t lost faith.”
                  “Not in G-d.  In yourself.”
                  “I’m perfectly fine.”  What was the point of lying to him?  He could see right through me anyway.
                  “You’re not.”  Like I said, he could see right through me.
                  “You don’t know me.”
                  “I know more about you than you think, Avalon.  And another thing, I can read people.  You’re only acting this way because you’re afraid of the unknown.  Take a risk or two…maybe even with me.  You have to have an open mind.  Otherwise you’ll be stuck circling this same crippled outlook for the rest of your life.  And I don’t think you’d enjoy that too much.”
                  “What I went through…the kind of pain I went through…I can’t go through that again,” I admitted, a thick lump forming in my throat.  I tried clearing it away but it wouldn’t budge.  “It hurt – hurts – too much, Jensen.”  The beginning of tears burned my eyes.  I was flabbergasted with myself to say the least.  “And for the record I am open minded.  My heart just isn’t.”
                  “But you can’t live your life in fear of losing someone again.  You need to hold your head up high and