Victoria said with a frown.
Cole's brows rose. "Are you saying that they thought you were running some kind of bawdy service?"
Victoria sighed. "Some of them did. At times I had to involve the sheriff. Being a matchmaker showed me something I didn't expect. People can be real desperate when it comes to finding someone they will spend the rest of their life with."
Cole nodded. "They can end up even more desperate when they lose the one person they thought they'd live with for the rest of their life. I can tell you that for a fact." His voice had a firm, even tone.
Victoria peered at Cole and gave him a soft smile of understanding. She could see the pain in his eyes now, feel the sense of relief that they were talking about these things. It seemed to have relaxed his large frame. He'd settled back against the back of the seat and had folded his arms across his chest. His chin settled on his chest and he gazed once again at the fire in the stove.
Victoria supposed she'd deserved that last remark from Cole. It was inevitable that he felt that way about her leaving. But she also wondered what he was making of her description of life on her own. And that was the actual truth of the matter that cut most deeply into her. It had, in fact, been a life spent largely on her own.
Of course there had been the occasional suitor, but she'd been determined that she wouldn't exchange one lost love for another uncertain one. So she had rebuffed the various advances that had come her way during the course of her matchmaking activities. The decision had ensured her independence but it had also guaranteed her a loneliness which had driven her to often think of the one man who had given her hope of a future. One that included love and family.
And now she was sitting next to that same man again, and she found she still couldn't completely open up to him, still wouldn't tell him the whole story of her past few years.
"Are you saying that life in Helena isn't something you think will last?" Cole asked softly.
"I don't know what to say about that life," she answered. "I've been so busy with the matchmaking that I've hardly been able to reflect on my options. The business is a success. It keeps me occupied and I still meet good hearted people. That makes it worth all the difficulty."
"So, you're never coming back to Billings?" Cole asked firmly.
"I never said that. My mother's still here. And there's probably more than enough to keep me as busy here as in Helena."
"What's stopping you coming back?"
Victoria paused and shook he head. "I don't know, Cole. It's difficult to explain," she said.
"Try me," he said quickly.
Victoria looked at him, seeing that same impatience on his face, the need for an answer. "There's more to it than just work or making sure my mama's okay," she admitted.
"Like what?" Cole asked. Then he said just one word in a tone of quiet desperation. "Me?"
Victoria felt something shift inside her when she heard that last word. There was need as well as a touch of desire in the tone that caused her to glance at him again.
Victoria smiled at him. "It would be impossible for me to not think about you Cole. I've thought about you a great deal since we parted," she said.
Cole's eyes widened and he drew his chair close to her own. Victoria did not move, merely watching as he pulled closer to her.
"And I have never stopped thinking about you, Victoria," he said leaning in closer. Victoria felt no need to move away from him. He'd been so kind to her since they'd entered the cabin. There was no hint of impropriety in his closeness.
"I know you haven't," she said to him.
Victoria could feel his presence close to her. The slight dampness of his shirt created a soft scent that was a curious mixture of Cole himself and the rain from outside. It was strangely appealing.
Victoria glanced into Cole's eyes and could see the strength of his desire for an answer still burning there. The dark stubble on his chin was clearly discernible