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"Don't
    apologize. Just forget it. I know that wasn't you, just now."
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    Icarus Rising
    by Bernadette Gardner
    God, her face was on fire. He'd been in her. She'd come in his
    hand and dismissing it now as though it were nothing more
    than a naughty suggestion seemed childish, but they could
    never progress with this mortifying incident between them. "I
    know that wasn't you in control, and I know you'd hate
    yourself if things went any further."
    She should have let him. A rebellious voice in the back of
    her head argued the point. She should have surrendered
    completely and let him have her all the way. What did it
    matter if an oversexed alien bird was controlling his actions?
    For a moment, she could have had Caleb in her arms, in her
    body, giving her everything she'd dreamed of since the day
    they'd met. Seeing him regret it would have killed her, but
    losing him again would do that anyway, and at least she'd
    have the memory of being with him one glorious, forbidden
    time.
    "Zara ... the last thing I could ever stand to do is hurt you.
    I'm so—"
    "I know. And that's why I'm going to tell you this." She
    allowed herself to step toward him, but stopped short of
    putting her hands on his naked chest like she wanted to. "I
    will stay here with you and help you and your symbion deal
    with this in any way I can, but you have to promise me two
    things."
    "Anything." His response came out as a breathless,
    relieved whisper, but she noticed he would not meet her
    gaze.
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    Icarus Rising
    by Bernadette Gardner
    "First you have to agree that the goal we're working
    toward is getting your symbion to agree to go back to the
    station."
    Caleb nodded.
    "And second..." She finally captured his gaze and held it
    for a long, raw moment. "You have to understand that if you
    put me in that situation again ... I won't stop you."
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    76

    Icarus Rising
    by Bernadette Gardner

Chapter Nine
    Still the aerial searches turned up nothing. Arilani
    reluctantly returned to the research station at dusk after
    pushing herself to near exhaustion searching for Caleb and
    Zara. With the soft beach sand shifting beneath her feet,
    Arilani folded her wings and wiped a crust of sea salt from her
    eyelashes.
    With thousands of islands stretching in all directions away
    from the station, it could take weeks to canvas only a fraction
    of the hidden caves and camouflaged aeries. That assumed of
    course that Caleb hadn't fallen into the water and drowned
    both himself and his hostage.
    Namara and Jidar joined her on the beach a moment later,
    their defeated expressions telling her more than words.
    "No one has found him." Her blunt statement seemed to
    taint the air between them.
    "I'm sorry." Namara, always a nurturer at heart, offered
    her hand to Arilani in a gesture of comfort. "You must be
    spent."
    "I am, but I'm willing to keep searching. We must find
    Caleb and help him bond properly with his symbion or he
    might never learn to control it."
    Jidar shook his head. "That's not the main concern right
    now. Dr. Danson believes Dr. Faulkner may never be able to
    regulate his biochemistry because both of them were adults
    at the joining. He fears the symbion hormones will eventually
    kill him if it's not removed."
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    Icarus Rising
    by Bernadette Gardner
    Ari's blood grew cold. "On what is he basing this opinion?"
    "From his observations," Namara offered. "Since they're all
    he has at the moment. He believes Dr. Faulkner doesn't
    possess the proper chemical channels to allow him to
    establish dominance over his link with the symbion. The
    uncontrolled changes in hormone levels will eventually
    overload his nervous system and cause it to shut down."
    Arilani swung her gaze out over the ocean. How dare
    Danson make such outlandish claims without consulting her?
    She knew far more about the symbion/host link than he did.
    "I believe with the proper therapies and some intensive
    training we can overcome the problem."
    Jidar