though you’ve seen a ghost. What the hell’s the matter?”
“ I need to sit down.” My voice quavered, I felt dangerously close to tears. How could I see him here? I’d dreamed him earlier, he couldn’t be here. Anita led me to a cluster of rocks, guiding me to sit down and pushing my head low. Blood pounded in my temples. I could hear it over the noise of the sea, louder than the gulls squawking overhead. I closed my eyes, and forced myself to breathe. I would not cry. I would not give in to this. It was a struggle to draw air into my lungs, my chest grew tighter with each frantic jolt of my heart.
Dimly, in the distance, I could hear Anita speaking. She must be on the phone. Please, God. Don’t let her call Gabe . He was the last person I wanted to know about my breakdown. Struggling with a sudden wave of nausea, I lifted my head and saw Anita talking to someone out of my range of vision. It was no use. I stared at the sand, focused on the tiny swirls, my footprints, a stray feather. Anything to keep my mind calm. A full-blown panic attack was merely seconds away.
A hand on my shoulder. A deep male voice. “Are you okay?” I shifted my gaze to the right, stared at the patterned leather cowboy boots next to my bare feet, and the faded denim reaching almost to the sand. Slowly, painfully, I lifted my head, my eyes travelling up a long leg, over a flat stomach and up to a now familiar face. I swallowed and licked my lips, unsure how to proceed. Dark blue eyes met mine. He looked worried. As I blinked back tears, he swivelled to face Anita and spoke to her.
She answered. He spoke again.
Reality slammed home with a force that made me giddy with relief. I’m not hallucinating. God knows how, but he was here — really here. I wanted to tug Anita’s sleeve, and ask her if she could see him as well. But that was stupid—of course she could. I swallowed, fought back a guffaw. The last thing I needed right now was a burst of hysterical laughter, but God .
Anita crouched next to me, taking my face in her hands. “I’m going to fetch Jon. You stay here with Mr. Summers. Okay?”
I nodded, it was easier than speaking. She ran away, sprinting over the sand, heading back to her house.
Mr. Summers. As a name it suited him; he looked like the summer. The breeze ruffled his hair, his skin glowed. I felt sure that if I kissed him, he’d taste like the sea—and where the hell had that thought come from? Finally taking a deep breath, my chest strangely loose again, I put my fractured thoughts in order. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He cocked his head slightly to one side, and sat on the sand next to me, sprawling with his legs stretched out. “What are you sorry for? Did you faint? You’re very pale.”
I thought I’d imagined you . Yeah, that would’ve been a really clever thing to say. Instead, I ran my hands through my hair and straightened my back. “I feel really silly. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I just felt a little faint. Poor Anita is probably panicking and there’s no need. Would you be able to call her back?”
He craned his head while I tried not to stare at him. I felt as though I’d conjured him out of thin air. And if he was here, oh God , I’d actually seen him earlier, too. I wanted to crawl under the rocks in humiliation. Had I really cried on his shirt? Embarrassing didn’t begin to cover it.
Right now I wanted to run as far away from this delicious man as possible.
4.4 Gabe
I worked through Suki’s desk, sifting with care through every drawer and file, searching for credit card and bank statements and phone bills. Apart from the unsteady pile of clippings and documents on the top, her paperwork was neat to the point of being anal.
Even her receipts file looked innocent. Stationery. More books. The receipts from my last two birthday and Christmas presents, her most recent iPod and phone. I sighed, partly in relief. I didn’t want to believe she’d been
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