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mouth full of cow crap. Anyway, it could have been worse. At least they had escaped. He wasn’t entirely sure what from, but was certain it was worse than being cold and covered in cow shit.
    Morden pushed himself up out of the muck and stood as best he could with his ankles still tied. With a groan, Stonearm likewise rose from the mud and crap like a leviathan from the deep. The cow had struggled free and began to complain loudly. Stonearm’s fist lashed out and the cow’s protest was brought to an abrupt end as it toppled over.
    Movement from the direction of the inn caught Morden’s eye. Torches were bobbing towards them. The chase had started.
     

Chapter 11 Second Lesson – Heroes
     
    Heroes
     
    As inevitable as death, when a Dark Lord rises and comes forth so heroes will oppose him. Armies will clash and great battles will be fought, but all this is naught as compared to the actions of the hero. They are the sideshow to his main event.
    You must know your enemy, Morden. Study closely.
    The obvious stratagem to deal with these irksome characters is to simply kill them. Problem solved. And many a Dark Lord has tried; tried very hard indeed, but to no avail. These heroes are made of stern stuff and have the most incredible luck. Their ability to escape inescapable death should not be underestimated. From the mysterious and sudden appearance of eagles to unlooked for armies appearing at dawn, heroes may seem down but are never out.
    That is not to say that a Dark Lord should not throw hindrances in a hero’s way. It behoves you to make every effort to put their life in peril so that at the very least they can expend their energy in saving their own skin rather than actively opposing you. Just be sure to send minions who are expendable. It is upsetting to send your hand reared Cyclops to kill the hero and later hear of his demise at the hands of the hero who got lucky with a stray arrow.
    A more considered approach is to study the character of the hero who opposes you to find the weakness that you can exploit. This may not kill them but rather have them so tied up in dilemma that they are rendered impotent.
    Heroes may have many virtuous qualities but equally they tend to have many less virtuous ones as well. Both can be of use.
    The virtuous hero cannot pass by those in peril. His moral code demands that he be a saviour. The hero is so swelled by the self-centred, self-important notion that he alone can save the world that he will shoulder all the world’s ills on his lone shoulders. This is to your advantage. Load those shoulders with as many worries as you can conjure. Try to make them personal. The hero attracts lovers like dung attracts beetles. Even if by some miracle the hero is seemingly chaste there are always ‘close’ companions or family members that can be kidnapped and held ransom. The hero will, of course, never buckle to a ransom but will try to rescue them. History shows they often succeed, but it takes time, and in the pursuit of rescuing the ones they love they will let the rest of the world be consumed.
    Then there are heroes who have the outward appearance of virtuous intent but in fact have egos almost equal to your own. (Yes, you are an egomaniac, Morden, otherwise why would you want to be a Dark Lord?) They are heroic for the rewards that being a hero brings. They live for the adoration of the masses. Many a maiden has swooned under their blazing charisma only to be used and cast aside for the next conquest. (There are certain so called heroic characteristics that are shared with a Dark Lord and should be admired.)
    They will humble kings with their righteousness. They will lead armies to calamity through pride and blind faith in themselves or a divine higher agency. In many respects they are no different from yourself, and you should point this out to them as often as you can manage. Catalogue their so called qualities and liken them to your own. If you are lucky and they see that they are