Free Irrevocably Mine (Imagine Ink Book 3) by Verlene Landon Page B

did there, deflecting the conversation, counselor. Enough about John and me, I think that is a conversation that can be put on hold, but Dax cannot. So, spill. When will you be ready to have little, bearded babies.” Gus giggled, but it was tinged with sadness. “You know that’s what he wants, right? He’s like me in that aspect, when he knows, he knows. However, he is also a man of action. He probably tossed his heart at you when he threw your legs up, or even before.”
    “Oh my, you make it sound so…junior prom. But, that’s kind of what I wanted to chat with you about. I believe he did throw his heart out there. He didn’t say it, but I got that impression. It was in the way he touched me. The problem is, as much as I want to be that way with him, I’m broken. There is something fundamentally wrong with me and I just don’t know if I can be what he wants me to be for him. What he would need me to be.”
    Gus seemed to take offense to what she said. Her body tensed and she dropped her feet to the floor. “First off, bullshit. You can be anything and everything for him or for yourself, or anyone else. Secondly, he doesn’t want you to be anything other than his. He knows you and would never want to change you. You’re the one holding back. As long as you give him yourself, warts and all, it will be exactly what he needs.”
    “I get that, because, I am kinda fucking awesome.” The laugh rang hollow and Stacy spoke to the heart of the matter before she chickened out, “But what if I can’t get over all the shit from the past? What if I never want him to take my top off? What if I never want him to tangle those big, caring hands in my hair? I used to love that, you know, having a man’s hands tangled in my hair, pulling just enough to point me in the direction for the perfect kiss. Now? Well, Hank stole that joy from me, along with others.” Stacy dashed her cheeks with her palm. “What the fuck lady, you need to dust this place. My eyes are watering and shit.”
    Lie. They both knew it was but Stacy was too vulnerable to admit it and Gus was too sweet to point it out. “Yeah, it’s been a while. I went from clean freak to slob in the first month.” Gus rose and headed to the kitchen, scooping up their dinner remnants as she went. Whether by design or happenstance, Stacy was grateful to not have that close contact right now. She was too raw, too exposed. There was a good chance the guru pixie knew that and that’s why she left and spoke from the kitchen.
    “Ah, there it is.” Gus mumbled to herself and puttered around the kitchen, then louder, she spoke toward Stacy, “You know, we all have fears and baggage. Some just hold tighter than others, but if you think Dax is Samsonite free, you’re sadly mistaken, but that’s beside the point. It comes down to you. Do you want things to be different or not? If the answer is not, then carry on. No need to upset your routine, have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want and live your life. There is nothing wrong with that, regardless of what society says. If that makes you happy, then go for it.”
    Bomb drop in 3, 2…, Stacy counted in her head.
    “However,” Ah-ha, nailed it, “if you want more, you have to be open to it. Admit to yourself you want it. Again, there is nothing wrong with that if it’s what you truly want. But, you do have to act accordingly.” Gus returned to the living room with something she hadn’t expected.
    “Calm your tit, is that what I think it is?” Before Gus could even answer, Stacy claimed a plate, had a bite in her mouth and was moaning like a mad woman.
    “Yep, Mrs. Reid’s famous southern pecan pie. Ever since the announcement, I have had my refrigerator stocked. Everyone seems to be a part of this pregnancy and that just means wonderful things when he or she makes their debut. The term ‘spoiled rotten’ will not be sufficient enough to convey the state of things.”
    They sat in companionable silence,