Free Saint Jude: Los Angeles Bad Boys by Frankie Love Page A

And—”
    “Do you always run when you’re hurt?” Jude looks at me, and I feel like my answer is going to change things for us, forever.
    I know how he feels right now about girls who run. The truth is, I have no intention of staying. He’s standing here in the foyer of his house, with his baby. He is completely out of my league.
    I’m not the girl for him. I was barely a hook-up for him. And I know that staying here, giving in to another afternoon with him, is just going to bring more drama to his life. Drama with my brother, with my family, with his family. He doesn’t need that.
    What Jude needs right now is stability. And maybe a nanny.
    But not me.
    “I don’t always run, but I would be lying if I told you that wasn’t why I ended up in LA. Maybe Evangeline is right. Maybe I am bad news. And you don’t need that right now. Etta doesn’t need that right now. Right now, I think I might be the sort of distraction that isn’t so good.”
    Jude walks toward me, his daughter in his arms. She’s fussing now, not in a totally hysterical way but in an I’m-ready-for-some-attention way.
    “I don’t want you to go. I don’t give a fuck what Evie says. She’s my cousin, not my mother. And even if she were, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t ask permission. I do what I motherfucking want.”
    “That’s the thing though, Jude—I operate the same way. I do what I want.”
    “And right now you want to go?” Jude looks at me, clearly not believing a word I say.
    “Yeah,” I tell him. “I do. I think it’s best.”
    “Since when do you do what’s best? What happened to the Catalina from last night, the girl who was looking for trouble?”
    “It’s a new day. Maybe it’s the day I start getting my shit together.”
    “You don’t need to do that for me.” Jude shakes his head.
    “I know. You haven’t asked me for anything.”
    “You haven’t asked me for anything, either,” Jude says.
    “Then we’re even.”
    “I don’t get what just happened,” Jude runs a hand through his hair. “I thought we were having a really good time.”
    “We were. But Jude, I think you deserve better than that.”
    “Better than you? Besides, I thought you said this was just a hook-up.”
    I feel like he’s testing me, like this is another question I need to answer correctly.
    Would he actually push me away? It seems like he’s the sort of man who’s never pushed anyone away in his entire life. He pulls everyone in, like his duty is to take care of them.
    “I’ve gotta go,” I tell him. “Let me know if you need anything, or want to get a cup of coffee some other time. Take Etta for a walk. I’m game for that.”
    “Just not an afternoon quickie? Or not staying when the conversation gets complicated?”
    “I think my answer, today, is both.” I readjust my purse on my shoulder, and lean over to give Etta a kiss on the cheek. Then, without thinking, I lift my chin and kiss Jude squarely on the mouth. Because I want to. Because I think he needs me to.
    But mostly, because I can’t bear to tell him good-bye for good.

    * * *
    L ater , I’m in the guesthouse, my laptop open in my lap, when Holden walks in.
    “Hey,” I say, keeping my eyes on the screen. This sub-reddit has sucked me in, and I’ve been lost in the vortex of forums for hours, reading threads on single dads and taking care of babies and dating brothers’ best friends.
    As if message board answers are the shit that could solve my problems.
    “You didn’t come home last night,” Holden says.
    “No, I didn’t.”
    “You want to tell me where you went?”
    “Nope. I do not.” I look up at him and smile widely. Obnoxiously. Like a little sister.
    “Okay, if that’s how it’s going to be.” Holden rolls his eyes.
    “Stop being so weird. I can have a life here. Isn’t that all you’ve been hoping for the last six months? I got one. I have things to do, people to see.”
    “Yet it’s a gorgeous afternoon in Los Angeles, and you’re