Free I Ain't Me No More by E.N. Joy Page B

you over some other guy . . . I don’t know what happened.” He actually sounded sincere, but it was too late. I saw this as my out. Finally, despite the fact that I gave Him little to nothing, God was giving me a way out. I would finally be free from the clutches of Dublen Daniels.
    â€œWell, now you’re losing her over yourself.” His mother abducted the words right out of my mouth. “And I don’t blame her . . . as long as I still get to see my grandson.”
    I swear on my mother and father that Ms. Daniels having my back gave me so much courage, it wasn’t funny. I guess all I needed was for someone to just know what I was going through, to be there to understand. To support me. To believe me. This time Ms. Daniels had to believe me. She’d seen it with her own eyes. Dub could smell my newfound courage too. He knew I was gone. He knew that I meant every word I’d said. It was over.
    â€œPlease don’t leave me,” Dub said once I had collected all my things and was on my way up the stairs.
    I disregarded his pleas and turned to his mother. “Where’s Baby D?”
    â€œI had Kelice run to the store to get me a pack of cigarettes. She took him with her,” Ms. Daniels said.
    I was anxious to get out of there, but not without my baby boy, who’d turned one just three months ago. “Then I’ll just wait in my car.” I knew better than to sit in the house and wait. Dub would try to sweet-talk me or beat my brains out. I didn’t want to subject myself to either.
    â€œI’ll get his things together,” Ms. Daniels said as she followed me up the steps.
    I kept peering over my shoulders to make sure Dub wasn’t going to try to do something crazy to stop me. Instead, he just stood there, dumbfounded, watching me walk away.
    I stood at the front door while Ms. Daniels gathered Baby D’s things. It took her less than five minutes. “Now, remember what I said.” Ms. Daniels placed her hand on my shoulder. “Just ’cause you and my son ain’t gon’ be together no more doesn’t mean you can keep my grandbaby from being around me.”
    I gave a half smile. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Ms. Daniels. I know how much you love—”
    â€œHelen, come here,” Dub interrupted as he called out to me from the basement.
    There was silence as I looked at Ms. Daniels. “Should I go?” my eyes asked her, but my lips said nothing, frozen in fear.
    If I went down those basement steps, what fate would be there waiting for me? If I walked out that door, what fate would be waiting for me? Would my disobedience set Dub off to the point where he’d race outside and kill me in front of the neighbors? Would he come after me at my house late at night, taking me out and anybody who got in his way? I couldn’t bring that chaos to my doorstep, couldn’t compromise my family’s welfare. Even worse, what if his sister drove up with Baby D and he killed me right there in front of our son? No, I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have my son witness his father murder his mother.
    â€œHelen, come here,” Dub called again, shaking me out of my thoughts.
    I knew what I had to do. I had to go ahead and get it over with. With my arms loaded with both Baby D’s and my things, I took a deep breath and headed down the steps, my life a slide show before my eyes.
    Once I got to the bottom landing, I walked straight across into Dub’s room. I walked in slowly, but he was nowhere in sight. It was quiet, and I could hear my heart drumming.
    â€œI’m back here!” I heard him call out, his voice darn near making me jump out of my skin.
    I exited his bedroom and tailed his voice to the back part of the basement, where the laundry room was. With each tread and with each breath, I came to grips with the fact that they could very well be my last. Right before entering the laundry room, I