Free Black Sheep by Na'ima B. Robert Page A

on.”
    “Jerome!” Mum called from the kitchen. “Come and eat your breakfast, boy!”
    “What about me, Mum?” I cocked my head and listened, then smiled when I heard Mum kiss her teeth. I knew that she wasn’t going to cook breakfast for me. She had stopped doing
that long ago. “Thanks, Mum,” I called back. “You sure know how to make a man feel special.”
    Then I saw Jay look away and I felt bad. He hated it when Mum and I argued. “Sorry, little man,” I said softly. “Don’t watch me, yeah? Me and Mum are cool.”
    Jay looked up at me, his face all doubtful. “Are you gonna get chucked out of school, Dee?”
    “Nah, man, nah! Nothing like that, man. Nothing like that.”
    Jay shrugged. “It don’t make no difference anyway, does it? Spaz told me that he’s gonna make mad loot when he joins RDS for real. Then he won’t need school and he can do
what he likes.”
    “Oh, yeah?” I squatted down in front of Jay, my back against the wall. “What else did little Spazzie say?”
    “He says mans like be makin’ about a grand a week, running errands for Trigger. A grand, y’know! Can you imagine how many kicks you could get for that money?” Jay’s
eyes glazed over and I could see him imagining himself in a phat ride, maybe a red Lamborghini, gold chains swinging, diamond rings twinkling, driving round the estate, a big man.
    “With that kind of money, who needs a job, man?” Jay continued. “I say school’s for losers who ain’t got no sense.” And he walked off down the corridor, all
hard now, bopping in the exact same way as his best friend, Spaz.
    I looked at my kid brother’s back, ten years old and already wise to the ways of the street. Had I been so clued-up at that age? I couldn’t help thinking of what Ms Walker had said,
earlier in the week. I wondered what she would make of little Jay, a street-life apprentice before he even knew his times tables.
    Then I kissed my teeth. Enough of this crap. I had a day to get through.

    On the way to the bowling alley in Streatham, Jay was in hyper mode, chatting about everything and nothing. Poor guy was stoked because I had agreed to take him out. I
definitely needed to be there for him more. Streatham seemed a safe enough area, I thought to myself. No risk of running into any beef there. At first, I tried to keep track of all his stories but
after a while, I zoned out and began to think of other things, trying to sort through the crap that was clogging up my brain.
    ‘Dwayne, man, what’re you doing?’
    ‘What do you mean, ‘what am I doing’? Ain’t it obvious? I’m taking my kid brother to the bowling alley.’
    ‘Nah, man, I ain’t talking about that. I mean what’re you doing with your life?’
    Silence.
    ‘Well?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘But why don’t you know, tho?’
    ‘I don’t know, I’m confused, innit!’
    ‘What are the choices?’
    ‘What d’you mean?’
    ‘Don’t act dumb, man, you ain’t in school! What are your choices, Dwayne?’
    ‘Well...’
    ‘Yes..?’
    ‘I ain’t good at a lot of stuff, y’know.’
    ‘Spare me the sob story, yeah, I’ve heard it all before. We’ve been hearing it since forever! It’s time to flip the script. Tell me what you
can
do.’
    ‘Well...’
    ‘Yes...?’
    ‘Well, I’m good at Maths, innit. I can take a set of numbers and spin it on its head and make it come alive and start dancing like it’s on fire or something... I can do
that.’
    ‘OK, that’s a start. That’s a good start.’
    ‘I can spit too, like a maestro.’
    ‘True dat...’
    ‘Thanks.’
    ‘Shut up.’
    ‘OK.’
    ‘I said, ‘Shut up’!’
    Silence.
    ‘Good. Right, what about these GCSEs, man, what’s up with them?’
    ‘Nah, man, I can’t be dealing with those exams! Ms Walker may think she’s got it all figured out but she don’t know my reality.’
    ‘What about Misha? She definitely seems to know what she’s doing...’
    ‘Dem people’s different, man, we