Free Lord of Lies by David Zindell Page B

keep me from slaying Salmelu.
    'Val!' Asaru gasped in my ear as his hand closed like an iron manacle around my arm. 'Be still!'
    But I could not be still. For something bright and terrible was moving inside me. Once, in the lightless depths of Argattha, Morjin had told me that my gift of valarda was like a double-edged sword: as well as being opened by others' emotions, I might wield mine against men to cut and control. Master Juwain had taught me that I must learn to use the valarda, for good, as I might my hands or eyes. But my hands trembled to grasp the hilt of my sword and make murder; my eyes were as blind and blackened with hate as Atara's,
    'Val!' a familiar voice cried out from across the hall. 'Oh, Val!' A black, blazing hatred for Salmelu and Morjin built hotter and hotter inside me. As the valarda opened me to the men and women in the hall, and them to me, they felt this, too. They looked at me in loathing and awe. But a hundred feet away, Baltasar Raasharu arose from his chair and looked toward me as if awaiting my command.
    'Do you see?' Salmelu cried out again as he began walking down the rows of tables toward Baltasar. He was that curious type of coward who must continually prove his bravery by goading others. 'Valashu Elahad would even have his friends murder for him. And so he would throw their lives away - as he did with the minstrel in the Kul Moroth.' At last, I could hold the agony no longer. My eyes found Baltasar's, and the burning steel of my fury for Salmelu struck straight into my young friend's heart. His sword flashed forth as he cried out and leapt toward Salmelu. Probably Salmelu had calculated that the knights at the nearby tables would grab hold of him. But Baltasar moved too quickly to be so easily stopped.
    It was the Lightstone that saved Salmelu's life - and Baltasar's. (And perhaps my own.) As I twisted and turned against my brothers' frantic hands, the little cup began shining more brightly from its stand behind me. In its sudden, clear radiance, I saw many things: that Baltasar would truly die for me, not because I wished it, but because he loved me even more than he hated Salmelu or his dreadful lord. And so he would not let me be the one to slay Salmelu. The Lightstone cast its splendor on his noble face, and I saw in him the finest flower of Valari knighthood about to cut down Salmelu - and thus be cut down by the failing of my heart.
    Baltasar.
    The One's creations, I saw, were so beautiful. The promise of life was so sweet and good and great. And yet, in the world, so much evil, so much pain. I couldn't understand it; I knew I never would. And yet I would give anything, tear out my own heart, to keep the promise for Baltasar, and for everyone: to see them become the great beings we were born to be.
    'Baitasar!' I cried out.
    The Lightstone blazed with a sudden brilliance like a star. As it burned brighter and brighter, its radiance worked in me a miracle much greater than the transmutation of lead into gold For in one magical moment it turned my hatred of Salmelu and Morjin into an overpowering love for Baltasar. How could I hold such a beautiful thing? And how could my brothers now hold me? My whole being filled with a force that gave me the strength of ten men. It poured through me like a golden fire. As I broke free from Asaru's grasp, I raised up my silver sword and pointed it at Baltasar. He had finally closed with Salmelu, and his sword lifted high above his head to cut him in two.
    'Baltasar!' I cried out again.
    But this was no sound from my throat nor name made by my lips, but only the peal of the bright and beautiful thing inside me. Like a lightning bolt directed by my sword, it suddenly flashed forth from me and streaked across the room. I felt it break open Baltasar's heart. Everyone in the hall, my father and brothers, my mother and grandmother - even Salmelu himself - felt this, too. Baltasar felt it most deeply of all. The steel mask of fury melted from him. He