Free Time Lost: Teenage Survivalist II by Julie L. Casey Page B

reasoned that we couldn’t store the canned food in the apartment since we were never sure we’d get the same one every night and we couldn’t very well carry around more than a few cans with us in our bags everywhere we went. That was alright with me… well, more than alright. It meant less time Sara spent with Jason. I’d almost rather have starved than see her go with him again.
    Since “our” apartment didn’t have a balcony and we couldn’t guarantee that we’d always get to stay in the same one anyway, Sara and I went up to the roof to set an animal trap kind of like the one Dad and I had set during the blackout. We had to be careful to stay away from the burned out portion of the roof because it didn’t look too stable. We also stayed away from the other edges of the roof in case someone happened to look up and see us up there where we definitely weren’t supposed to be. I found a piece of PVC pipe, about two feet in length and four inches wide, which I rigged as a trap. I had remembered reading somewhere that birds can’t walk backwards, so I figured if I could lure them in, they’d be trapped. At least, that was what I’d hoped would happen. I covered one end of the pipe with some discarded wire mesh, then placed it in an out of the way spot on the roof, sprinkled some grains of rice leading to the pipe and down inside it, too.
    While we were on the roof setting the trap, Sara found a wooden pallet, which gave her an idea for growing some of our own food. That night after dark, we went out to the strip of grass and trees that lined the street in front of the building and dug up fresh dirt with our hands and kitchen utensils. It was hard work but we managed to fill one of our gym bags with the dry dirt and drag it up to the roof. We packed the pallet with dirt between the slats. Now we just needed seeds. Sara said she’d seen some packets of vegetable seeds at the food cache that Jason had taken her to and planned to go there the next day with him. I wasn’t too happy about that, but I saw the value in growing our own food; maybe then she would never have to go back there with him. Still, I was grumpy the rest of the evening thinking about her being with him. When we had finished and gone back to the apartment, which we were lucky enough to get again, Sara had had enough of my bad attitude and confronted me.
    — Ben, what’s wrong with you tonight?
    — Nothing.
    — I know something’s wrong.
    — I don’t know. I guess I just don’t like the idea of you going with Jason tomorrow.
    — What are you afraid of? That he’ll rape me or something?
    — Maybe. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust anyone.
    — Well, he doesn’t trust you either. Don’t you trust me?
    I paused for just a second before I answered and that made Sara purse her lips in disgust. I tried to backpedal.
    — I trust you. I just don’t know if…
    — If what?
    She sounded angry now.
    — If he’ll talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. If he’ll hurt you somehow.
    Then I lowered my eyes to the floor, miserably, and said, barely above a whisper,
    — If you’ll decide you’d rather be with him than me.
    Sara lifted my chin up until I was looking into her eyes. Her voice was stern but not as angry.
    — That’s not going to happen, Ben. I’m with you to the end. But I’ve gotta do whatever it takes to help us survive.
    Part of what she said made me happier, but a lot of it had me worried. The parts about to the end , and whatever it takes made me wonder what she meant. I wanted to ask her to explain, but decided to leave it until another time. I was never good at expressing my feelings out loud. Or even to myself for that matter. Sometimes it seemed easier just to bury them.
    The next morning, Sara left with Jason as planned. She said that the food cache was quite a ways away and that they’d probably be gone until afternoon. She gave me a quick kiss before she left, but I didn’t say anything. I